Usually I like to write posts like this in more of a “3 sections, essay-style” manner, but I'm writing this one “bullet-point style”. Writing about 2018 (and how I felt about it) in the former style will end up being an incoherent, subject-hopping mess, and bullet point will lend to (slightly) more coherent sharing of thoughts and opinions. It's certainly been a year of really positive, really negative, and really strange events on nearly every level (personal, local, regional, national, global). The conflicted nature of the year doesn't really lend itself to a narrative essay-style post.
1) Another year of the Trump Administration: The second year of Trump was definitely...ummm...wild. Honestly, I don't feel like the administration itself has done much. There's just been too much turnover of high-ranking staff from the get go for that administration to truly able to work on any effective level. I think most of what's going on politically is more a consequence of the natural political/economic cycle than anything Trump or his administration have done. Economies and economic situations rise, fall, and sometimes even stay stagnant. In my opinion, we're still riding the wave of the economic policies of the Republican House/Senate tandem that was tempered by Obama's more moderate executive influence. Politics and policies get pulled left or right, and then snap back to the other side on a fairly regular basis. It was nice to see some balance restored to the national government after the midterms. I don't think a 100% Republican (or 100% Democrat) government can ever be truly effective, in terms of representing it's constituency both at home and abroad.
I won't say much more here in topic 1, since pretty much every topic to follow will be in some way or another related to the current political state in America. My final thought on topic 1 is this: While I want Trump to pay for any crime he may have committed if he's found guilty, I am (still) legitimately unsettled by the prospect of a Pence-run government if Trump were to get impeached.
2)Racism in America: Another year, another slew of unarmed black people getting shot down by cops. It's become so commonplace in the social-media era that these stories get reported on for about 2 hours and then most people just forget the shootings happened. And yet, it DOES feel like these shootings are being treated more and more seriously by the legal system. This is one instance where I feel that the Trump-phenomenon has been (thankfully!) especially ineffective: it seems more and more that these shootings are being investigated and/or tried as manslaughter/murder (as they should be) than just being brushed off with a temporary suspension. That's a good thing. It's not perfect, but it's progress. If the officer who killed Botham Jean gets convicted for the murder charge she's currently (as of 12/23/18) indicted for, I'll say “Shoutout to the Texas legal system for being just.”. I mean, that's all people are really asking for. The simple task of saying “Officer or not, this person killed a man for answering his own door and that is murder and they have to face the consequences of their actions”. That's what all of the anthem protests and marches and whatnot are about. Cases like these. Where a kid gets killed for walking while drinking an iced tea. Where a guy gets killed for holding a cell phone. Where a man gets killed in his car in front of his family for adhering to proper firearm carry laws. And no one goes to jail. But then two guys can get arrested for sitting and waiting for a friend/client before they order coffee. It's the disparity of justice. And it's the ridiculous scale of that disparity. And I feel like a broken record saying all of this for the millionth time (be it on this blog or to people or formerly on twitter).
As for other issues...I mean, I don't feel qualified to comment on things like the recent (as of 12/23/18) incident of the young man being forced to cut off his dreadlocks at the wrestling meet. If it was an incident involving a kid getting pencil tested, I could speak with authority (via personal experience). But for issues like the one mentioned above, you'd get a more authoritative opinion from someone with 4A to 4C hair, and maybe 3C, too. I maxed out at about 3B/3C from my teens to my early 20's (my hair is basically straight now, which is probably due to, amongst other things, a combination of heavy smoking, years of heavy drinking, stress [of the PTSD kind and otherwise], and age). Anyway, ask them. Really. Just go have a conversation with them and don't go into it feeling combative or on the “preemptive defensive”. Just be willing to listen and learn. Sometimes emotions run high, but don't take it personal. The person you're asking these questions to is more likely mad at the social structures that created the problem (e.g.; slavery, segregation, white supremacy in general) than with you personally.
Also: RIP Jazmine Barnes. I just feel sick now... [Update 1/6/19: So this wasn't a case of racism, obviously, but it DOES reintroduce the topic of gang related violence and how it negatively affects the WHOLE community. When gang members are hitting civilians like that (via misidentifying a target or via stray shots or whatever), everybody loses. I'm not going to sit here and condemn people for being in gangs. I don't know their individual situations, and I don't know what sequence of events led them to join a gang. (Also, let's be honest: gangs are a deeply rooted part of American culture. JFK would've been just another good-looking poor-boy if his daddy hadn't been a gangster running bootleg booze and such for whatever gang he worked for. The whole Kennedy political dynasty only exists because Joe was a gangster.). I don't agree with the idea of gangs, but I'm also not going to sit here and act like it's ONLY a black problem, either. Anyway, I'm glad the actual shooter(s) turned himself/themselves in. But that shouldn't take away from the fact that all this violence needs to end.]
As to the ongoing “cultural appropriation” argument/debate, I'm on either side of the fence about it. On one hand, part of being in an integrated society involves a certain amount of cultural appropriation. For example: if you have more movies, music, television, books, clothing, etc. out there being made by people of colour expressing their culture, eventually that culture is going to get adopted by people who are fans of that/those work(s). I mean, Jay-Z or 21 Savage or whom ever can't sell millions of records without some of those albums being bought by people from other cultures/races. And those people will pick up slang or way of dress or whatever off of the music and the image the artist portrays. It's inevitable. On the other hand, you can't have people adopting another cultures...well...culture, and then pushing the original culture out (e.g.; it would wrong for record labels to sign white rappers as a majority of their rap acts). Like I said, I'm on both sides of the cultural appropriation argument. I feel like 2018 was a year where this conversation got heated (with varying degrees of pettiness). I also feel like maybe we need to put the “cultural appropriation” debates on hold for a minute and focus on issues like legal justice and education/wage equality. Arguing about white people stealing black slang seems insanely petty when you think about the bigger issues. It's about prioritizing.
Aside from racism faced by African-Americans, there's also the matters of the inhumane conditions of the holding cells (i.e.;modern internment camps), anti-Jewish slurs and synagogue shootings, the sustained racism against Arab-Muslims…. alll of these things have been going on since time immemorial, too. I don't know if it's worse now than it was before Trump, or if we're just hearing about these instances more now. Obviously, antisemitism has been around since before America was founded. The European-Christian world has been at war with the Arab-Muslim world since at least the Middle Ages (see: the Crusades). From what I understand, a lot of these cages/holding cells for (primarily LatinX) immigrants have been around since at least Obama's administration. I also get the impression that the conditions are worse/more abusive under this current administration than any previous administration. We're hearing about instances of sexual abuse, families being held in cages separate from each other, and also neglect of children by the facilities (which now possibly includes 2 child deaths as of 12/28/18). That's, I'm sure, just the tip of the iceberg.
None of this is acceptable. But I'll admit my thoughts on these incidences are incomplete. Especially with regards to the “border security racism”, I feel like I just don't know enough to comment definitively, outside of saying “This is wrong”. As a (left-leaning, small l) libertarian, I think that open borders and racial equality (and equity) are necessary for a truly free society. But beyond my feelings and what little I know from the news, I just don't feel qualified to make a a great, fact-based argument here and now.
On a local level, it was nice to see the boy who posted racist stickers on peoples cars was given a guilty verdict. I thought the sentence was light, but it was apparently the maximum allowable. So good on the judge and prosecutors for getting everything they could. Hopefully OSU does the right thing and expels him. While I'm all for freedom of speech and the right to express ones ideas and beliefs (no matter how much I disagree with said ideas and/or beliefs), he took it too far. He went way past “discussion and civil debate”. I think the way OSU handles this will say a lot about how serious OSU is about creating an environment of true, complete inclusivity. [FunFact: I was scheduled to serve jury duty on the day of that boys trial, but he waived his right to trial by jury.]
3)Women's Lib/Social Justice: Again, I don't feel super qualified to say much here (my history as a sexual abuse survivor not withstanding). It's probably better to get opinions and analyses from women, not me. But I will say: It was nice to see a lot of these issues not only getting the attention they deserve, but the legal verdicts they deserve. I'll leave it at that and let women (all women, not just white women) tell you what it is.
But I will add: it's disappointing that the Violence Against Women Act was allowed to expire. Renew that act (or better yet, improve upon it)!
4)Economics: Economics is, in my opinion, hard to gauge on a year-to-year basis. I still think the Trump administration's economic plan is going to backfire bigly when interest rates start fluctuating more. I still think a compulsory $15/hr minimum wage is a horrible idea (no matter how well it's working for the Seattle food and beverage industry). The national average k-12 starting teacher salary is about $38,700 (for 2016-2017 via http://www.nea.org/home/2016-2017-average-starting-teacher-salary.html). Under a $15/hr minimum wage, a McDonald's worker putting in 40 hrs per week for 52 weeks would earn $31,200 annually (before taxes, obv.). Note that early career teachers in Montana would actually have to get a raise just to make minimum wage! If I were a teacher (anywhere, not just in Montana), that would be upsetting. If I'm only making an extra $7,500 a year to work a job where I have to bring home my work and basically be a social worker AND an educator, I'd probably say “Eff it!” and get a job at a clothing store or grocery store with employee discounts. The only other option is to scale up everybody's wages to the point where we begin flirting with hyperinflation (which would basically set our path to another Great Depression). I wrote about this in another post in 2016 (called “Against A $15/hr Minimum Wage”, natch), so I'll stop.
Besides all of that...I feel like it's hard to determine whether the good economy of 2016-2018 was a product of the previous administration's policies or the current administration's policies or both. I feel like 2018 is ending pretty sour, economically. If it continues to sour through 2019, I'll definitely give the complete credit for the 2016-2018 economy to Obama, his executive team, and the legislative branch he was working with in the last half of his tenure.
Other than that..I just feel like we won't know the real consequences of economic policies and practices from 2018 until at least 2020.
I'm also weird-ed out by the apparent swell of pro-socialist/anti-capitalist sentiment in the U.S. It doesn't make sense to me. I get the emotional appeal of socialism, but in practice there will always be tiers to everything. I think our values in America (and globally) are skewed, but an equal distribution of wealth isn't going ot change peoples values. Someone with, say, a Trump-esque mentality isn't going to all of a sudden become humanitarian of the year if their wealth is redistributed. Some one like R. Kelly isn't going to stop grooming an draping underage girls because all of a sudden his net worth is lower and yours is higher.
I've always loathed the term “the human condition” (it's too broad for my tastes), but greed, avarice, whatever you want to call it... it's part of the psyche of a lot of people. Maybe a majority of the people. It has levels. Maybe you're “only” greedy in the sense that you buy the new iPhone everytime a new one comes out... but it's still greed. Do you really think “the Bern” is going to downgrade to a 700 or 800 square foot, 2 bedroom apartment or take a $50K pay cut? Do you think Mitch McConnell is going to...ok, no one ever thought Mitch McConnell was ever going to give up anything for anyone in the first place. Bad example.
It's part of the...(trying not to cringe as I write this)...human condition for person X to have a lot, but then say “Look, person Y has more than me, so why don't THEY sacrifice?!” even when person X has a higher standard of living and more privilege than the average person. I still think capitalism is the best form of economy we have. Do we need to temper it some? Of course. Nothing is perfect. But socialism is NOT the cure-all for what humanities ills. Capitalism allows you to set up a socialist community if you so desire. Socialism doesn't. I prefer the option that allows for choice. End of (somewhat off-topic) rant against socialism.
5)Pop Culture: I'm so out of tune with pop culture, and I'm usually playing catch up. I love movies, but I usually wait until I can check them out for free at the library (because I'm frugal like that). So, even though I really WANT to see Black Panther, I still haven't yet (there's a LONG wait list for it as the library). Of the movies from 2018 that I actually saw in 2018, I really enjoyed Annihilation. I thought Blackkklansman and A Quiet Place were both excellent. I thought Insidious: The Last Key was ok, but nothing special. Deadpool 2 wasn't all that good; the only part I really enjoyed was the X-Force bit, which was a nice nod to Peter Milligan and Mike Allred's X-Force/X-Statix run (and, honestly, that bit was really the only reason I bothered watching the movie in the first place). I still haven't seen Hereditary, which I really want to see.
In music, I was even more out of touch. I did really enjoy Nicki Minaj's new album. I wasn't into the singing/pop songs as much as I was the pure hip hop songs, but those pure hip hop songs we golden. Chun Li, CoCo Chanel (with Foxy Brown!), and LLC should be on all the “End of the Year” lists. I also enjoyed J. Cole's Kids On Drugs album. I thought Meek Mill's Championships was mostly great. [also: shoutout to Meek Mill for really growing up. I was worried for my guy for a few years, but he really matured. I love his fire for the social justice, too. I honestly did NOT see that coming, but I'm glad he got there.]
I absolutely loved H.E.R.'s album (even though it was basically just a repackaging of her earlier material and I had heard all of the songs in 2017).
Doja Cat's "Go To Town" might have been the best single song of the year for me. Maybe. That beat is insane, and she put some wild vocals onto it with some funny lyrics. Everyone was on her junk over the cow song, but "Go To Town" is the song that should have been on everyone's top 10 list.
I missed out on hearing a lot of new stuff. The PellePelle/Averix/WUWear/SeanJean-era oldhead in me was really excited to get out my velour tracksuit, lace my Timb's up, get my 139&Lennox-sized fitted cap, and cop the Styles P solo albums, and the Sean Price/Illa Ghee album and the new Black Milk and all the new Dipset projects and the new Cormega EP. Buuuuutttt....I didn't (yet).
I want to hear the new Jay Rock and the new Nippsey Hussle, too.
I just don't seek out new music like I did in my early-to-mid 20's. Like, for instance, I just found out about the socahall ((part dancehall, part soca) artist Jah Reddis this year. In my early 20's, I probably would've heard his first single the day it came out as opposed to hearing it like 4 years after the fact. But we all get old, hein?
6)Misc./Other
-Kanye West can go ahead and keep his mouth shut for ever. I usually hate saying stuff like “He/She/They should just stick to (whatever their specialty is)”, but...ummm...Kanye should just stick to making beats and saying scoppityscoopity or whatever. [FunFact: I've never listened to an actual Kanye album. I like his beats but I've always disliked his flow, so I've never really listened to him outside of his guest appearances on other peoples songs]. [update, 1/14/19: I saw this fool just donated $10mill to an artist. Why not make a $10mill scholarship fund for black STEM students instead? Why not donate to Chicago schools? Why not set up a trust and fund a group that can provide mental health services for people who need, but can't afford them (since mental health is this guys big thing, apparently)? There's like 10 million better things he could spend $10 million on than some guys scifi volcanic crater panic room-looking thing. Kanye gets the "cancelled" with the bold lettering.
-In 2018, I fell in love with goat cheese. I can't imagine eating a salad without some goat cheese in it.
-In 2018, I came to fully believe the modern news cycle's full embrace of panic culture is now the most effective means towards stalling social justice/reform. When the news sells you 20 new things to be scared of every day, it's almost impossible to fight for any single cause. It was surreal and disturbing to watch how, for example, the shooting of Botham Jean was in and out of the news cycle in a matter of days. I'm pretty sure there was more total coverage for the single Saudi journalist getting killed than there was (combined) for all of the folks who got killed ON AMERICAN SOIL BY POLICE for things like...holding a cellphone or answering their door. I don't understand that.
I think the most egregious example of this is how the story CNN put out in late 2017 about the active slave trade in Libya just flew under the radar. There was like 2 days of people caring about that story/situation, and then nothing. I mean... that's real live slavery going on. But people would rather follow the year-long coverage of the Megan Kelly saga? Priorities.....
-I was really bummed out I didn't get a chance to take a few weeks to go on a wilderness camping trip this year. I really need a “new” (read: used) vehicle...
-This is, officially, the beginning of my 10th year of being single. It's also been 8 years since I've been on a date. I'm fairly certain I've achieved “point of no return”-status with respect to my (lack of) love life. A few years ago, I thought it would be more depressing if I got to this milestone, but it's oddly not depressing at all. I'd say it's better to be alone than with someone you don't like/love, or someone who doesn't like/love you for who you are.. I'd rather be "alone but not lonely" (to quote the band Suede) than be with someone who makes me feel lonely, if that makes sense (to anyone else but me). Corvallis is also a pretty difficult place to date if you're not in your 20's, and it's pretty much impossible ANYWHERE to find a lady who's interested in an atheistic math student pushing 40 who's living at or below the poverty line and doesn't drink alcohol and has introvert/loner tendencies with (professionally diagnosed) PTSD and autism spectrum disorder. And I'm not interested in dating outside of the plus/minus 7 years age difference range. (although I never discount exceptional circumstances.... I' dated a woman 10 years my senior when I was 29 because she was just an awesome person, so obviously my "plus/minus" numbers aren't set in stone) . And I'm picky (e.g.; I can't bring myself to date religious/spiritual women, I don't want kids unless they're already 20+ years old, I can't deal with dating people who are ruled by emotion), so I'm definitely a big part (if not the biggest part) of the reason why I'm single. I don't know why I ranted so long on that. I just thought it is/was a weird/unexpected milestone in my life.
(And, ps, I'm not trying to be all "incel" with my above comments. I say "it's...impossible to find a lady who's (etc.)", but...well... most people in general aren't looking to make a significant other out of someone living in my circumstances and who's made the life choices I've made.. I'm just saying I'm in a place, and I've made life choices, that make me kind of undateable. It is what it is. I'm definitely NOT saying "IT'S THEIR FAULT I'M SINGLE!". I place about 99% of the "blame" of my singleness on myself. Also: I don't regret my decisions. I'd rather be a perpetually single, atheist math student in Oregon than a guy playing open mic nights and getting fired from jobs for no reason, all while trying to avoid my weirdo-furry stalker in Kalamazoo, MI*. I'm happy with my choices. I just recognize that the choices I made/make don't exactly increase my "dateability". And yes, I did have a girl (one of the few people in this world whom I can genuinely say I completely despise) who basically stalked me (for about 10 years, actually...it was super creepy to have someone who I talked to for a total of like 15 minutes over the course of 10 years grab me and try to kiss me and stuff multiple times...even after I said "no" every time and said stuff like "Think of me as a brother"... it's part of the reason (along with all of the other instances of sexual abuse/harassment, from family or random people at clubs or seminars) why I empathize with women who have to deal with sexual harassment and stalkers)).
(And yes, I wrote this completely sober, and it's possible/probable that the way I do the "completely an open book, contradictions and all"thing is off putting. But we can only be ourselves, right?)
-On a related note, it was fairly hilarious to find out that “mylife.com” has me listed as “married” even though I've never, at any point in my life, been married. I've been engaged twice, but never married. And, ummmm...I've been single for 10 years. Not "waiting to get divorced", not separated, not “in an open relationship”, not “taking some me-time"... but real, honest-to-goodness single. I noted this in a different post (from like 2014, which I updated in 2018), but it's buried way deep on this site.)
(update: mylife finally changed my relationship status to something resembling the truth (from the lie of "married" to the sort-of-closer-to-the-truth status of "unknown"! Thanks guys! Now you just have to recognize that: a) I don't live in Michigan and b) I have never been a broker/owner. )
-I have this fairly large essay-style opinion piece I wrote on reparations, that I promised in 2018 that I'd write, but I'm wary of posting it. It's a pro-reparations argument with a few possible realistic scenarios (e.g.; college/trade-school tuition paid). It toys with the idea of making the payments to individuals at the cost of $3000 (approximate value of an acre of land in 2017) times 40. All of my scenarios involved the payment to be made over time (like on a semester-by-semester basis. Any lump sum payment would be all but impossible, even at an amount significantly less than the approximately $120,000/person I suggest in the piece.). But I feel like, as a society, we're really not at the point where we're ready to talk about actual plans for reparations. We're barely at the point where we can have a civil conversation about it. I have the piece at hand for whenever I end up saying “eff it!” and posting it, but for now I'm sitting on it and editing and weighing pro's and con's and affirming valid arguments I make and adjusting arguments I make that just aren't feasible/realistic. I told a few people on twitter (before I gave that up) that I'd write the piece, and if they're reading...I didn't forget. I just don't want to put out something that isn't realistically possible and is based on emotion rather than facts. For a controversial and contentious subject like reparations, you can't just throw out some scenario that's only possible in some fictional world.
[Also: I have to respect the fact that there's always repercussions for the things we say. And I would be saying some controversial things. I think I read that like only 9% of all white people (liberal, conservative, gay, straight, man, woman, polygender, agender...ALL-all) agree with reparations for slavery payable to African-Americans. That includes people who decide if I can get into their grad programme, potential future research collaborators, police officers, psychopaths, etc. I don't have millions of readers or anything, but people DO read this blog. And people talk. And I'm on my own with this. I don't have people. If/when it comes down to me having to deal with the repercussions of saying something 91% of white America doesn't agree with... NAACP isn't coming to help me. I doubt Farrakhan will call for the Million Man March for Jonathan's Well-being. So unless I feel like going full Kamikaze, I have to take all of that in to account.]
(Update:3/3/19: It's funny (in a sad way, not a ha-ha way) to watch Dem hopefuls talk about reparations, but then turn it into an All People Should Get Them conversation. Native Americans got land, tuition, an maybe even some cash. Japanese folks who were stuck into internment camps during WWII got cash. Jewish victims of the Holocaust got land and cash. Descendants of African slaves got....more racism. I'm really disappointed in the 2020 Dem hopefuls for the way they've discussed this issue. Honestly, if you're just going to say "Reparations....but for EVERYONE!", just call it a universal basic income. Reparations for slavery is something else, and you can't All Lives Matter that conversation.)
(To be extra clear, I believe all the groups I mentioned above deserved the reparations/payments they got. I just believe that you have to be complete with that and give the descendants of African slaves their fair compensation, too..)
-I'm super hype for the upcoming movie “Us”. The trailer looked amazing. I loved “Get Out” (though I didn't think it was as deep as people made it out to be), so “Us” is going to be my “must see in theaters” movie for 2019.
(update: saw it....it was good but not great. The ending left a bad taste in my mouth. But overall, I liked it. I'd give it a solid 8 out of 10)
-As I was getting ready to post this I had to delete some petty jabs I had taken about a certain celebrity podcast host/activist figure who needs to diversify his vest game. I've taken some shots at that person in the past on my blog (admittedly, by my standards anyway, they were weak/soft shots....but whatever). But I had to delete those comments. My New Years resolution is to not talk down on good folks even if I don't agree with them on everything. One of the reasons I quit twitter/social media is because I hated seeing the division of blacktwitter between so called "hotep" blacktwitter and what I call "middle class christocrat (portmanteau of Christian and Democrat)" blacktwitter. I find good and bad in both sides. I just want to see the hostility between those camps to get turned down a few clicks. Those two camps (which are an admitted over-simplification of the factionalism that exists in the African-American community) exist outside of twitter. It's what you might call the "Malcolm vs. Martin Schism". I think there's validity to both sides an both sides can learn something from each other. In my life time, I've been friends with quite a few people who might get the "hotep" label.. Aside from some "wrong side of history" thinking in terms of issues like misogyny and homophobia, I never felt like there was anything we talked about where I was like "Damn, I'm talking to someone who's truly ignorant". Anyway, I'm just trying to say that I don't want to play into that division game.. I want unity for the community. If someone like R. Kelly is out there making everyone look bad, ok, I'll denounce that person. R. Kelly is a horrible human being, just like Harvey Weinstein is. But aside from that, I'm not going to talk bad or look down on anyone in the community. 2019 has to be about unity and civility, not petty differences and infighting and division that play into the hands of anti-black entities.
-My one and only 2019 celebrity prediction: There will be approximately 9817263848927162738472 articles written about Rihanna being pregnant. Before July. .(the joke being: she won't be pregnant at any point in 2019).
(update: 11/12/19: I wasn't that far off. Maybe +/- 10 articles or so, but pretty close.)
-Happy 2019! Let's all do better!
[UPDATE 1/7/19: Granting clemency to Cyntoia Brown was a GREAT start to 2019! For those who don't know (or don't remember), Cyntoia Brown was imprisoned for life for killing the man who repeatedly raped her (after he essentially bought her as a sex slave...here in America). Today Tenn. Gov. Haslam granted clemency, and she's going to be free by August! I hope she's given adequate resources to get back on her feet and repair her life once she's free.]
*2018 was also marked the 8th year since I've been back to Michigan. I do NOT miss it at all. I hated living out there, I have no connections to anyone out there, and have absolutely no plans to ever return there for any reason or for any amount of time. I'd probably even spend an extra $200 on a flight just to avoid a layover in Michigan. 2018 ALSO marked the 8th year since I've touched a musical instrument or done anything "artistic". I was always pushed by others towards being a creative writer (even though my natural aptitudes were always in science/math). I don't miss the creative thing at all. Although sometimes I hope to get enough money one day to buy a bentside spinet or a harpsichord. But, honestly, I'm satisfied just listening to CD's of competent harpsichordists in lieu of that.