THIS POST WAS FORMERLY ENTITLED "HOT TAKES" (but the "takes" quickly started becoming less "hot" and more drawn out than I had originally intended)
***This is an on-going post, still being added to as of 26 Jan,2021 and beyond***
I just finished my last final exam of the term, and I have post-exam anstyness. It's a mix of post test anxiety and excitement for what comes next (more math over the summer, including research, and some hiking).
I don't feel like writing a big post, but I do feel like giving some quick opinions on some things and share a few links to stories I found interesting. .
1) I thought this article on university libraries was pretty interesting (and kind of sad). I think the idea of centralizing collections in a regional depot (as opposed to individual libraries) has its upsides and downsides. On one hand I think there's something to be said for things like creating more study space (especially as a larger and larger percentage of the population is choosing to go the higher ed route) or space for educational technology in a space where books just aren't coming off the shelves, in the age of e-books and online journals and such. On the other hand.... I'll admit I'm kind of just.... a sentimentalist, I guess, and I enjoy pulling tons of books off the shelf and flipping through them and getting notes on them and writing down catalogue numbers for books I might want to look at later, etc.
I'd miss having a library with hundreds of math books right there whenever I want, internet connection or not...
2) This whole conversation encapsulates everything that's wrong with America right now. It's not JUST the insanity of the anti-metric argument, but the general malaise of those with an inability to move on from outdated processes and beliefs that harm us more than help us on the global stage (e.g.; racism, sexism, homophobia, nonsense like anti-abortion sentiment). Hot Tale: People like this are almost always the first ones to complain that minorities face discrimination because "they don't assimilate".
When I finished watching this segment, I was left with a deep desire to: (a) buy a "I Heart The French Revolution!" t-shirt, and (b) receive an invitation to the next Bilderberg group meeting. I grew up around a lot of the weirdo conspiracy literature/ideology that the beard-guy was obviously referencing (e.g.;New World Order/Illuminati/Freemason conspiracy theories, anti-globalist nonsense,, United Nations-as-Satanic-cult conspiracy theories). I just think people like this are...weirdos...bat shhhh crazy....w/e. I just don't get how you can go through your whole life and not realize that that kind of thought process is crazy. Some might even call me out and say "Jonathan, I remember you talking that conspiracy theory trash before!" and...I mean, for a while I bought into it when I was younger (I mean, I was literally SURROUNDED by that material), but I grew up and actually looked into a lot of the groups these types demonize (sometimes in a very literal sense). I don't know...I digress...
3) I'm pretty much totally on-board with the "I'll vote for whomever wins the Democratic nomination" idea, but please...not Joe Biden. I can honestly say I'd rather write in a Louis Farrakhan/Richard Spenser ticket before voting for Biden (ok, that's more humourous hyperbole than actual honesty). It's partially the "gropiness" in Biden's past AND present AND the way he makes light of it and justifies it (just like P-Grabber Trump), it's partially the way he's unreliable policy-wise, it's partially the way that...he's just "guy-version-of-HRC".
I don't even really like Bernie all that much, but I'd at least feel like slightly less of a hypocrite voting for him and not Biden. I'm warming up to Warren, but I still just don't think she has the personality to beat Trump. I still think she;s the best VP, and I still think Kamala Harris is the best choice for president. I think they'd make a good "moderate/progressive" ticket together. I just think, between the two, Harris has the personality to beat Trump. The way she was unphased by the guy who rushed her onstage just showed me steely nerves, too.
The real hot take here is: the far left in the Democratic party need to suck it up and realize a left leaning moderate (noting moderate is not the same thing as centrist..and Biden is a centrist) is your best bet to pull over the moderate right. Trump is vulnerable with moderate right. They see he's riding the economic wave that started towards the end of Obama's second term. Moderate right wingers see Trump policies like "the wall" and "tariffs-as-punishment-stick" are costing America more than they're benefiting America. Far leftists need to realize that America isn't going to become their shallow,idealized version of Scandinavian socialism right now anyway. That would take generations worth of constant and consistent policy changes, OR a dictator who would change the entire political and economic foundation of America over night.
(As an aside: I think it says a lot that none of the candidates are really talking about police violence against minorities [especially against black people]. It's so disappointing. As a country, we've just been so desensitized to the phenomenon that it's a non-issue for any candidate, despite all the footage and physical evidence around.)
4) I didn't get a chance earlier, but shoutout to my Detroit Pistons for getting into the playoffs this year. I don't care that they lost in the first round. It was just nice to see them in the post-season again. Blake Griffin was AMAZING this year, and he played his heart out in the playoffs. He's the real MVP this year. Anti-shoutout to the Pistons trading my favourite player (Stanley Johnson) though.
5)Shoutout to the dollar store for having frozen Golden Krust Jamaican spicy beef patties in stock on the regular, which I just found out a few weeks ago.
6) I was sad to see the 2nd Street Beanery close down (though I hear they'll maybe be opening a new downtown location). I haven't gone there as much in the last year or 2, but I still liked the place. Best iced coffee in Corvallis.
7) I know there's a lot of anger (some would say justified anger) out in the Frayser neighbourhood in Memphis. I know the history out there is filled with abuses to the black residents. But I hope cooler heads prevail. I just don't want to see people lose their freedom or their lives I'm just seeing the news today about the confrontation going on out there and I don't have all the facts. But if you're going to protest, be safe about it. Stay free and stay alive. We need all the free and alive people that we can get. I know there's decades (if not centuries) of continued murder and abuse and betrayal when it comes to the system and how they treat the folks, but if we're going to make an impact and work to turn that around, we need people alive and free. Peace.
Also: the police officers who pulled guns on a lady and her 2 kids (while the husband was getting roughed up by a cop) over a Dollar Store doll need to be fired. Now.
8)I finally watched the movie Hereditary and it was amazing. I'd rank it up there with Get Out, the Witch, the original Wicker Man, and Rosemary's Baby as one of the great slow-burn horror movies. Not terribly gory, and very story based. I'm excited for the writer/director's next movie (called Midsommar). It looks like it will be something akin to a cross between the original Wicker Man and Green Inferno.
On another film-related note, I was sad I missed my chance to see High Life in theaters. It played for like a week at the Darkside theater, but I didn't want to see it until I had my work for that week finished. By the time I was all caught up on my work... it was gone. I'm sure it'll be a good at-home watch when it comes out on DVD. [UPDATE 10/1/19: I finally saw High Life and...it was a total mind-fuuuhhh. I loved it, but it was....something else. Also, I watched another sort-of-scifi movie called the Endless which was also a total mind fuuuhhh. The only ting I hated about the movie was that the equation on the wall didn't bother closing the parentheses of the final terms of the equation. I kept yelling "YARGHGHGH!!" every time it came on screen. Still, it was a great movie.)
I also finally watched Black Panther and...it was ok. It's really good for a comic book movie (I'd put it on par with The Dark Knight, which also ranked as "ok" for me), but in general I'm not a comic book movie fan.. Maybe I was expecting too much because of all the hype, but to me, it was just ok. I loved the cast, though. I guess my biggest complaints were: the CGI effects were kind of corny (but I think that about ALL comic movies, so...), and I was kind of bummed by the way that nobody was like "damn, maybe Killmonoger had a point, but we just need to temper it a little". Like maybe they could have said "Maybe we don't go to war with the world like Killmonger wants, but we teach the Wakandan diaspora to protect themselves" or something. Instead they just give all their secrets and materials to the same people they were calling colonizers in the previous 2 hours. That was...weird, both from a "plothole" standpoint and a "philosophical" standpoint.
Also, apparently John Turturro is STILL planning on putting out his remake of "Going Places" (now renamed "The Jesus Rolls"), which will most likely be an even bigger piece of trash than the original. Apparently his new marketing approach is talking about how it shows how men are trash and all the female characters are strong. But one has to wonder how well that message will be conveyed if, like in the original, the movie is like an hour and 45 minutes of guys basically raping women (including the main female character who just lies there and takes it the whole movie), followed by 10 minutes of said rapists being like "wow, maybe we should be more sensitive to women" followed by 10 minutes of said rapists and the female lead picking up and deflowering an underage girl. Did I mention it's a comedy?.... so they'll definitely try to use the "satire" cop out*. This movie will be trash. And apparently Pete Davidson is in it, so it's going to be double trash (I'm not a fan, obv.). I'll still be an Audrey Tautou fan, but I refuse to see this movie (sort of like how I'll always be a Nicki Minaj fan, but I refuse to listen to any songs she does with Chris Brown or Eminem).
Also: never forget that Turturro is 100% Italian and he's playing a crude stereotype of a Latino. Essentially, he's doing blackface here and in the Big Lebowski (where his Jesus Quintna character originated). Never forget that.
9) Oregon HB2020 is trash. See my complaints about the Green New Deal in a previous post, which apply here. My biggest complaint is transportation. Raising the already-high gas prices only affects people who can't afford (or can barely afford) gas as it is. This bill (and the Green New Deal) is classist. These are the types of policies that keep me from getting completely behind Democrats. The same people who talk about affordability and class end up making bills that hurt lower classes and make things unaffordable under the guise of saving the earth. We can't all go by a new car (electric, hybrid, or otherwise). Honestly, this feels like a step towards state-wide gentrification: turning Oregon into greater-Portlandia and a place for rich people who want a state where they can buy vacation homes and set up seasonal businesses where they sell overpriced, frivolous items while they're on summer vacation***. Call it "eco-gentrification". By and large, I loathe siding with Republicans on environmental issues and policy**, but I'm against HB2020 as it's currently written. Having said that, I wish they had handled their dissent in a ...ummm.. completely different way. (Also: I know there's a built-in low-income tax break (or something similar) in HB2020, but... it still just doesn't feel right. I just think tings like the gas tax hikes need to be less extreme, especially when gas prices are so high as it is.)
Also: I still say having less children is the best way to battle climate change. While I advocate for as much personal freedom as possible (without infringing on the rights of others), I think there has to be a "baby cap" each year to stabilize population growth. All the carbon emission-saving vehicles in the world don't negate the effects of (approximately) an extra 256 people being born EVERY MINUTE! All while life expectancy substantially increases. Carbon emission control is good, but all those new (and longer living) people need houses, food, water, etc., which takes a significant toll on our resources. (And if you really want kids, remember: there's approximately 153 MILLION orphans worldwide who need a loving home! adoption.org/many-orphans-worldwide)
10) DemDebates Round 1:
Night 1
Winners: Warren, Booker, Castro (in that order). Warren was obviously the most comfort in the setting and she obviously has the most experience at the federal level. Booker is like Warren-lite, but I think he has a more modern mindset and I think the race issue is more real for him (not just a textbook abstraction). Castro is someone I don't know a lot about, but he came off as someone who paid attention at his job and is well thought out, but who's also maybe a bit overwhelmed by the setting..Castro could end up being (along with Booker) a good candidate for the vice presidential nominee
Middle of the pack: no one. (the drop off from the top three to the 4th was really steep with this one)
Losers: Everyone else. (Everyone else felt kind of "high school debate team-y" to me. Their answers felt too formulaic and/or emotional/defensive. They all seemed to lack personality in the setting. Beto was especially cringy to me.)
People who should just drop out now: Delany, Ryan, DeBlasio. (I'd add Inslee to this last sub-list, but I think he can play a role as a voice to get the other candidates to flesh out their climate change plans more. I honestly like Ryan's answer to the question about our military presence in places like Afghanistan. He was realistic, and I appreciated it. But he looked really pressed the whole time (he has resting rage face), and that won't be a good look in the debates with Donald "Button-Pusher-in-Chief" Trump. Delany was a nonfactor, but I liked when he said "Keep what works and change what doesn't work", which is how it should be. You don't (and can't) just restructure a whole government in 4 years. I liked his realism there.. DeBlasio is impossible for me to take seriously. He's just "new Giuliani" to me.)
Night 2
Winner: Harris. (She was polished,, measured, and I think relied the least on buzzwords and/or nostalgia. Seemed the most comfortable, too. While everyone was yelling over her (when it was her turn to speak), she just waited and let loose the now-probably-a-meme "food fight" zinger. I liked her gun reform stance and I really liked that she acknowledged Swalwell's good idea on gun reform. Part of being a good leader is building up people around you and recognizing good contributions. I liked how she got Biden into his feelings, too. I think she could have the same effect on Trump and really rattle him.)
Not-quite-winners: Yang, Swalwell. (I didn't know much about Yang beforehand, but I like/love his Universal Basic Income-via Value Added Tax economic plan. He definitely has a "tech/sci" personality, which I like but probably isn't a great mass-appeal selling point. Swalwell... I knew nothing about before tonight. But based on his debate performance, he should at least get his name out there. I really liked his gun reform stance [keep hands off hunting guns and personal protection pistols, but no more assault weapons]. Neither of these guys would win a presidential election, but I could see both being good in "executive-aid"-type White House positions related to economic reforms (Yang) and gun reforms (Swalwell), )
Middle of the Pack: Benet, Sanders, Mayor Pete. (Benet has kind of a bland personality, but you can tell he's bright. He seems like he should use this as a way to up his profile to get more clout in the senate. Sanders is Sanders. I'm just not a fan and I feel like he just sort of robotically throws out buzzwords like "revolution" and "corporations" and "healthcare" and expects applause for those words. Like he'll really take little pauses after those types of words just in case you want to randomly break out into applause. But he lacks in substance IMO. When I was 16, I would've been excited for him. Now I expect more. Mayor Pete should run for a higher-than-mayor-but-lower-than-president office and cut his teeth there first.. He got really rattled on police violence questions/comments from Maddow and Swalwell. I'm just not sold on the guy and tonight didn't sway me to like or dislike him.)
Losers: Gillibrand, Biden. (Gillibrand felt really unprepared and came off as kind of corny. Nothing she said was memorable and she just doesn't have presence. Biden had the most to lose going in to this, and he did everything in his power to lose. He was over-emotional, over-nostalgic.. Obama was probably the best president of my lifetime so far, but that doesn't make Biden the best candidate, even if Biden thinks it does. And Biden seems to think it does. He seems way too out of touch.)
People who should drop out now: Williamson, Hickenlooper. (Honestly, I kind of liked Hickenlooper based off this first impression, but I just don't see him as a factor here. I like his science and small business and politics background. Tres polyvalent. But he's going to fade [further] into the background really quick. Williamson was....whatever she was. She just babbled. It felt like she just showed up and gave the stage producer $50K in cash to let her get on stage.)
All in all....both nights were what they were: a superficial first look at the candidates. It was a pre-season exhibition game. But that's important. It rubs some of the false shine off the idols and it highlights some of the talent that casual observes might have overlooked.
11) Hot Math Take: I have previously said that I consider Sir Michael Atiyah (RIP) to be the most quotable mathematician (at least of our modern age). I'm starting to think that Terrance Tao is giving him a run for his money. Prof. Tao's website is full of quotables, and he seems like a really decent guy in general. I added some links to his blog (specifically to some of his advice for undergrads) in my "Links" section. I feel like he has a real approachable, non-discouraging way of giving advice on his blog. There's a refreshing lack of pretension in the way he writes that I think should be the model for all future STEM teachers/advisers/communicators/students. (and current ones, too).
12) I had to pick up the new "Giant Sized X-Statix" comic. I was a huge fan of the original series, and they kept the original creative team, so I said "Why not?". It was kind of disappointing. It was good, but tried to do too much, IMO. The original series ended like 15 years ago, and it's hard to just jump back into a project after such a long break. In general, I don't like attempts at reviving a 5+-years-long-dead/dormant story or entertainment-type career. The one big exception, IMO, was the recent Twin Peaks revival. But that didn't feel like "nostalgia for nostalgia's sake", where-as this giant-sized issue... it sort of felt forced (pun intended, for fans of the original run). It wasn't horrible, but it didn't re-capture the satire of the original either. (Noting what comes below, XForce/XStatix was one of the rare true satires, IMO. At the time, when "reality"-tv was becoming a full on cultural juggernaut, Milligan and Allred put out one of the best true-satirical skewerings of that whole phenomenon.)
13) RIP Sadie Roberts-Joseph. I just saw the news that she was found dead in the trunk of a car at age 75. I didn't know her name or who she was before I saw the news, but from what I've read she was an upstanding citizen and educator who ran an African American history museum in Batonn Rouge, LA. . All I know is "found dead in the trunk of a car" means foul play 10 times out of 10. It just depresses the hell out of me when I read news like this. From all accounts, this was a woman beloved by the entire community.
14) Dem Debates in Detroit (July 30th-31st): I didn't watch. Mostly it was because CNN didn't want to stream them, and I don't have TV at my apartment. Like I said up in point 10, these debates are mostly superficial looks at the candidates anyway. Also, I'm not a registered Democrat, so I won't be voting in the primary anyway (I'm registered as "unaffiliated"). At this point, I'm more interested in looking at more in-depth interviews and policy descriptions. I like Delany's idea for "mandatory national service" (not just military service, mind you) in exchange for some free college. I disagree with Harris' weird small business plan that hinges on being open for 3 years AND having had Pell Grants in college (I'm not sure who she's even trying to appeal to there). I'm still pretty high on Yang all around. I still think Warren is the most thought out candidate.
The only part of the debate I watched was the following clip of Yang's closing statement: (video later in the post...weebly isn't letting me embed the video here for whatever reason...)
It sums up American politics so well, and I truly appreciate that he said what he said there. America loves drama and it loves bigger-than-possible promises. I think America is a great country, but appreciation without honesty is....well, kind of empty and maybe even a bit disingenuous.
15) Chance the Rapper is the corniest hip hop artist out right now. The only rappers cornier than Chance are Eminem and Kanye. That's my "Bottom 3 All Time". Vanilla Ice and Drake round out my "Bottom 5 All Time". Yeah, I said it.
(To be fair, though, I actually respect Chance as a person. He's done a lot to help fund programmes in Chicago schools and such. Totally respectable. I just can't stand his music and all the religious nonsense. But as a person, he's a stand up guy (unlike, say, Kanye).)
16)RIP Toni Morrison. Honestly, I've never read her works. I'm not much of a fiction reader. I've read some essays and articles she's written on culture, race, and feminism, but that's it. I completely respect and acknowledge her (positive) impact on the culture though. I feel like she was one of those people who could have very strong opinions and ideas and still manage to NOT alienate the "other side". She always struck me as one of those people who could appeal to just about anyone, and could bridge a lot of (intra- and inter-)cultural gaps. Part of me wishes I was more into reading fiction so that I'd be more inclined to read her more famous/influential works. The other part of me knows that she'd probably just playfully slap me upside my head and say "Don't force yourself to be someone you're not" if she heard me say that.
17) AstroScience Hot-Take: I have an odd fascination with Antarctica and a passing fascination with stellar and inter stellar phenomena, and thought this (click for article) was one of the coolest things I'd read in a while. Antarctica is one of the last truly pure places on Earth (with respect to human contamination of environment), and discoveries like this (to me) prove we have to do as much as possible to keep Antarctica from melting away.
18) Jay-Z and NFL Social Justice/Entertainment Deal: I don't know enough about this deal yet, but it seems kind of flimsy to me. From the initial glance, it only seems like this benefits the NFL (and by NFL, I mean owners and executives, not the players). Honestly, I hate football. Not a fan of the sport. But that's neither here nor there. The whole point of Kaepernick's protest was to bring light to police brutality against communities of colour. It wasn't about a flag or an anthem or a job as a quarterback. I don't see how a deal whose terms seem to be solely to get black artists to perform at halftime shows helps the social justice side of all this. I see a lot of "Entertainment" in the deal, but not a lot of "Social Justice". I've always been an on-again-off-again fan of Jay's music, and I've respected a lot of what he's done in terms of doing things like getting the Rikers documentary out there, but I don't see what or who this helps outside of some suits in high offices in a league not exactly known for caring about people of colour (or brain injury to people of any colour for that matter). With Jay being from Marcy, having seen the things he's seen and been through the things he's been through in life, I guess I expected a bit more. I'm interested to see how this plays out (and am reserving judgement until things play otu more fully), but right now.... I can't lie...I'm a little disappointed in Mr. Carter. If this deal doesn't do anything help people of colour and the struggle for justice... I'm (ALLEGEDLY!!) all for someone snatching his 5% chain (in a nonviolent way, of course).
Also, for the millionth time: not all cops are racist and most aren't targeting minorities. But a white supremacist subculture does exist in our law enforcement, and it has to be addressed with much more than "reassignments" and "paid leave" .when people are getting shot (and killed in too many cases) for doing absolutely nothing wrong.
19) Hot-take-that-will-land-me-in-the-hottest-water: ICE detainment centres are not concentration camps. They're internment camps. Both concentration camps and internment camps are inhumane, but there IS a difference. Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of WWII history will recall that concentration camps were places where you were held until you were executed in any number of gruesome ways. Internment camps were places where you were held in a similar fashion, but without the threat of, say, being herded with hundreds of other people into a room and murdered en masse via Zyklon B..
It's sort of like the difference between slavery and indentured servitude: both were horrible and inhumane, but slavery is MUCH worse than indentured servitude.
These ICE internment camps are disgusting and inhumane, and we should be doing everything we can to end their existence, but let's not call them something they're not. Unless there's evidence the American government is about to kill thousands of the people currently being detained, these are not concentration camps. They're internment camps..
20) I'm a fan of Rihanna and her work towards bolstering education quality and accessibility in the West Indies and everything... but Shaun King Cobra (cos you a snake, b!) needs to get no kind of award at Rih's diamond gala jawn. Since day one this guy's been a thief.. He's been using the community since Ferguson. Like, I don't care if he's 100% white or whatever. He says his birth certificate is wrong, whatever. I'll buy that People aren't always honest about who the real parents are on those. My problem with Snake King is the way he's just been taking donations and running since day one... I don't know how many articles I've read on the subject, but I too many of them had multiple personal accounts from people donating time and money to his Justice Together organization, and they were sincerely trying to help to get something going and he just took the money and ran. And he apparently hasn't changed one bit, from all accounts. Like I said, I love Ms. Fenty. I have a special place in my heart for the Caribbean brethren and sistren, but anybody can get it on this blog. I mean, I roast myself for my mistakes on here fairly regularly****, so....
But whatever. I called out S. Carter for his nonsense, so I'll call out this too.
Also: the timing of all of this is terrible, because I'm really in my final push for finishing up my summer research paper, and now all I want to do is lurk on twitter for the next few days and watch "Hotep twitter" roast Shaun King even harder than normal.
(I will say that Mia Mottley is absolutely deserving of being honoured, though. I will also reiterate that I think Ms. Fenty is one of the most vocal proponents of social justice in the "mega-celebrity" sphere. In fact, I'd say the Snake King thing is the only thing she's done that I don't agree with. )
21) I'm not sure how I feel about David Koch dying. On one hand, there's the whole "He was a driving force behind the Tea Party and one of the main voices, and patrons, of climate change denial". And he was probably a racist for most of his life. On the other hand, he gave $25 million to the United Negro College Fund for scholarships. He gave hundreds of millions of dollars to cancer research. He acknowledged the unfair bias against minorities and low-income citizens by the criminal justice system and worked with the ACLU and other groups to correct that bias. I'm not religious, but I'm not above forgiveness when someone makes a sincere effort to right the wrongs they've done and make the effort to change and not partake in those wrongs again***** (although I also believe there are some things done by people in this world that are, in fact, unforgivable). Honestly, I feel conflicted about how sincere some of his philanthropy was (especially concerning race and other causes that might be considered more left wing). I hope he was sincere, though.
I know a lot of people have really demonized the Koch Brothers over the years, but I think you have to look at the good they've also done. I'm conflicted about their legacy. I guess this is more a "lukewarm take" than a hot take, but...I don't know. Like I said, repeatedly and with emphasis, I'm conflicted. Let's just say that I'm glad I don't have to be the one to give his eulogy.
22) Free Joshua Wong! I'm definitely not what I wold consider to be well-informed with respect to the protests going on in Hong Kong lately. I know about as much as I can learn from wikipedia and some random news articles (my intelligence staff is on vacation at the moment). What I do know is that it's wrong to lock people up for peacefully protesting. People need to be able to voice their opinions, and these protests would not have gone as long as they have, with the number of participants they have, if this wasn't important to a sizable portion of the population of Hong Kong (which, if I'm not completely mistaken, is essentially autonomous form China). If I have a hot take here it's that it feels like Mainland China sees how the protest have been growing, in the long term, in terms of both the number of participants and the breadth of it's political aims. What started off as a protest against an extradition bill has become more and more of an "all-inclusive pro-democracy/full autonomy" protest. I think the Mainland is worried this will spill over into their sphere., and I think this really shook the government, and the measures they're taking are pretty telling in that regard.
I'm obviously pro-democracy, and I'm all for peaceful protest. My own biases obviously skew my opinions on this towards "pro-protesters". I'll also admit I'm not in possession of a full academic understanding of the history that informs these protests. This is about more than just a bill, I'm sure. Just like all of the post-Ferguson protests were about more than just Michael Brown. In both cases, it's one event that represents a larger, deeper socio-political malaise that's festered for generations, and the frustration boils over. In both cases the protests have been peaceful with some aberrations of violence by the inevitable fringe groups that latch on to the group.. Anyway, what I'm saying is that (given what I know), my sympathies lie with the protesters. Free Joshua Wong and any other non-violent protesters who were locked up for simply expressing their voice.
Also: Donald Trump is out of his mind if he thinks his tariffs are limiting violence between China and Hong Kong. If tariffs have any effect on the situation, it is/will be negative.
[Update 10/8/19: I just want to say there's plenty of things I admire and like about China, and it's culture (in both modern and historic terms). I honestly love the lack of religion in China. I think the separation of church in China is a model for the rest of the world. I've always admired the consistent output of amazing scientific achievements throughout all eras of Chinese history (up to and including the modern epoch). But like ANY country or amalgam of countries(e.g.; the EU, the AU, NATO, UN, OPEC), I'm going to have my critiques of the parts of the country/group, no matter how much good there is in the system as a whole. I just wanted to make that clear. I just think we should always be working to find the best way to make the best life possible for as many people as we possibly can. And we can't do that, individually or collectively, without critiquing and tweeking the bad things until they become good things.]
23) How in the living f__k is this guy (click for link) not dead, or at least shot? The cops knew three people were murdered and this guy was the prime suspect. Then they watched him choke a guy. And he charged the officers numerous times. Pepper spray and/or tasers didn't seem to be working on him, either. But Botham Jean can't answer his door without getting murdered? Charles Kinsey can't do his social services job without getting a bullet in the leg? Philando Castile can't obey the law without getting shot and killed in front of his family? And none of these bad cops are getting convicted of any crime, because they "feared for their lives"?
These cops obviously didn't fear for their lives, so this is now precedent. If this guy didn't make cops fear for their lives enough to shoot/kill him, then I guess this particular police department needs to train every cop in America on how to not be scared of people, up to and including naked women-and-child killers who choke church volunteers. If you can take someone like that in peacefully...if you can take someone like Dylan Roof in peacefully....you can take anyone in peacefully. Basically, like I've been saying since forever, there's no excuse for bad cops to be shooting unarmed black people. And there's no excuse to just let them slide because "they feared for their lives". (And, yes, I saw that an unarmed black man [the brother of Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles] charged with a triple homicide was taken in without being shot or murdered. But that just further makes my point that there's precedent that police don't need to just shoot and/or kill a person for being black while they're either a) obeying the law or b) committing a minor offense (as in the case where Alton Sterling was killed for....selling bootleg CD's.....).
24) Elizabeth Warren does "emotional/sincere high school debate team member" better than anyone ever. The way she presents on-stage feels like her emotional tics are studied and practiced. I think she's the smartest, most prepared candidate for 2020 (either major party)...but every time I listen to her I get distracted by the way she presents. The vocal quakes, like she's about to cry but she's going to be brave and hold it in, really grate after awhile. "Hushed intensity voice" is another one that kind of grates. The thing is, I honestly believe she's sincere about her platform and stances. I just feel like she feels like she has to show us just how emotionally invested she is, and it comes off as kind of practiced. Personally, I think an emotional vocal quake (for instance) plays better if it happens maybe once or twice on a campaign trail. It conveys emotion and sincerity once or twice, and future sincerity isn't doubted in future appearances even if the vocal quake isn't present again (especially now-a-days, since we can basically recall every moment, with your You-tubes and what not). I just think doing the vocal quakes and hushed intensity and such......when you do it all the time, at every appearance, it plays as insincere and practiced. Like I said, I DO feel Warren is sincere, so it's kind of her shooting herself in the foot by over-saturating her appearances with practiced emotion and coming off as insincere.
I still think Kamala Harris would fair better in any debate with Trump, but right now I think Warren has a better chance of winning the Dem nomination. So my hope is that she'd learn a lesson from what was (IMO) HRC's major mis-step in 2016. HRC tried to be entertaining and ironic and sassy instead of just being the most qualified and informed candidate. See, for example, that cringy "let's appeal to ironic 30-something hipsters" interview she did with Zach Glandkadoesfinos (or whatever his name is). I think Warren's kind of doing the same thing, but with "expressions of demonstrative emotion" in place of of "entertaining, ironic, and sassy". It's stupid to under-estimate Trump's onstage charisma. I hate him as a president, but objectively...he has onstage charisma (even clowns have charisma, if they're good at being clowns). For Dem's, I think Harris and Yang (yeahIsaidit) have the most charisma. They don't feel like they tape, watch, and analyse their practice sessions before their appearances. Spontaneity (or at least the illusion of spontaneity) plays better than "practice.d". As far as Bernie....I think "loud New York outrage" is his "expressions of demonstrative emotions". He has raw charisma (similar to Trump), but (again, IMO) it just doesn't present as "presidential".
I honestly thought Beto and Mayor Pete would be more charismatic, but I get the impression that the size of the stage is maybe a bit bigger than they thought going in, and (IMO!!) they both seem a little nervous. Corey Booker is Corey Booker. He's the same Corey from the "Brick City" documentary shows and "Street Fight". He's cool, collected, every-person Corey. He has a weird sort of "low-key-but-with-occasional-(melo)dramatic-flair-ups" charisma. I don't feel like he comes off as practiced when he embraces his true charisma. He might come off as a little goofy and aloof sometimes, but it's kind of endearing.
Charisma and a fairly populist (admittedly left-populist, but populist nonetheless) platform is what won for Obama. No one in this field has Obama charisma (if we're being honest), but I think it's important for whomever gets the nomination to embrace their personal charisma and avoid coming off as overly practiced and stiff.
25) Boondocks season 5 is either going to be amazing or terrible. I want it to be as good and as timeless as the original. Please don't let it be 10+ episodes of Rukus yelling the n-word in a MAGA hat. I like "cultural critique" Boondocks more than "current events" Boondocks.
26) I don't really listen to much new music. I'm not trying to be the irl "Hello fellow kids" Steve Buscemi meme. I just stick to my 90's and aughts/early'10s hip hop and R&B and dancehall and (jokingly) tell the kids they "don't know what real hip hop is because back in my day it was all about the lyrics".... But..... I kinda messes with that Billie Eilish album. That "all the good girls go to hell" song popped up while I was listening to the new notnice album (youtube playlists will do that), and I was like "ok, I'll give it a try". It's wild catchy. The whole album is pretty good. Shout out to her being like 17 or whatever and doing her thing. Hopefully she doesn't end up being some extra annoying, snotty Justin Beeburr2.0. (update 9/26/19: I figured out one of the things I like about Billie's music: Her sound is like some weird mash-up of CatPower, Rihanna, and CoCoRosie (who did a surprisingly good cover of Kevin Lyttle's "Turn Me On", ps) . All of whom I love. Her sound is still her own thing, but if I had to give a comparison....)
Also: the Bounty Killa track on the notnice album is crazy. Shout out to Bounty Killa STILL making bops.
27)DemDebates Round 3.
As of 9/14, I'm still watching the debate slowly, piece by piece. I'm taking it in half hour bits. So far: my opinion really hasn't changed on anyone. I will say, though, Andrew Yang isn't "buying votes" with his "$1K per month for 10 families" thing he threw out in his opening statement.. It's 10 families. That's probably like 20 votes, tops, if you assume "2 parents and any number of below-voting-age kids" for all 10 families. I don't think that 20 people are really going to swing the vote too much. If he were riding floats through cities and throwing stacks of $100 bills into every crowd....ok, that's buying votes. What he offered in his opening statement is nothing more than an open call for applicants to take part in a case study (assuming he actually goes through with it).
Finished watching it....no real change in opinion .Harris and Warren are still my top 2. I liked that Warren was less emotive in her speech (see #24 above). It gave her a more collected vibe. Beto came off better, but I don't know if it's his time yet I see him as more a senator or in a presidential staff type role for now (same with Booker, tbh). Mayor Pete...nah. Biden just gets rattled too easy. He's too... aggressively defensive is how I'd describe it. I still like Yang, and I still think he'd do well as an economic adviser to a president. Castro is too aggressively on the offensive right now. He should cool down and let Biden shoot himself in the foot. Sanders...nah. I just can't see Sanders meeting with foreign leaders and yelling all passionately as he does.
28) I've come to the conclusion that comedians are the worst. I can't think of another group of people who expect to be taken seriously while also expecting to NOT be taken seriously at the level most comedians do. They get up on stage (or on TV or online or w/e), say tons of offensive shit and tell you not to take it seriously because it's jokes. Then they go on stage (or on TV or online or w/e) and give opinions (that are mostly just reheated takes three times removed from actual experts work/research, mind) and expect people to take them seriously. You can't have it both ways. You don't get to wear blackface as "satire" and then expect to be taken seriously when speaking out against racism (e.g.; Sarah Silverman). You don't get to make fat jokes and then expect to be taken seriously when you talk about anti-body shaming or mental health (e.g.; basically every comedian). I love to laugh and everything, but I can't think of another profession where people are allowed to be so wildly contradictory (except for politics and religion).
29) Justin Trudeau....what did you do? I always liked the guy, too. But brown/black-face? I mean, unlike Virginia Gov. "It might not even be me" Northam, Trudeau at least owned it. But his initial apology (see video here) was.....meh. I think he said "I'm pissed off at, and disappointed in, myself" about 20 times in 13+ minutes. We get it. I hope there's better, more sincere apologies to come from him. I'm definitely interested to see how this plays out. But damn....I really liked the guy, and now I'm all kinds of conflicted about him. Mostly it just makes me sick and it just highlights the fact that racism is so ingrained in the power structure of politics on a global level, even in the most supposedly liberal political spheres. People like to pretend racism is confined to the stereotype of poor white people with Confederate flags on their rusty trucks or gamer-boi Alt-Right neckbeards with fash cuts******. But racism is waaayyy deeper than that. Even everyone's beloved, and overly-mythologized IMO, New Deal architect FDR was known to throw the N-word around like it was nothing. I'm just saying that I'm not surprised a High-Society liberal got caught doing something racist.
UPDATE 1: I saw Trudeau's second apology and it was better. I think admitting he comes form a place of privilege and actually using the term "racist" to describe what he did was important. Is it enough? Probably not to people of colour (and justifiably so) I think with something like this, it's going to be about the subsequent "acts of contrition" he's going to have to undertake. It can't be about just making promises, now. He's going to have to follow through for people of colour on a personal AND political level. But I have to say, as far as apologies for getting caught in black/brown-face go, he was more aware of his mistake and (seemingly) more sincerely repentant than most. But it's a long road to recovery, so to speak, if he's sincere about making amends and regaining trust. I'm just saying, you don't spit in someone's sandwich, buy them a new one, and then expect them to thank you for buying them a sandwich. You pay for the sandwich, the sides, the drink AND pay the tip....and if you're lucky, they'll forgive you and maybe even thank you for owning it and doing the right thing.
For better or worse, Trudeau is still a better choice than Scheer (?) the conservative candidate. I don't know much about Singh (the NDP candidate), but what I know about him sounds good. From what I've read of him and his platforms/stances, I'd probably vote for Singh if I were Canadian. (I'm an American, and I know in 2020 I'm probably going to have to choose between 2 or 3 people for president who are, consciously or subconsciously or maybe even unconsciously, racist to one degree or another..)
I think this incident is a good lesson-in-progress/case-study. It's going to be interesting to see public reaction and if there's any willingness to forgive. For myself, I was definitely angry when I saw the photos, and not feeling willing to forgive. But then I thought about context: This guy probably grew up having watched Al Jolson movies with grand-dad every Christmas, and listening to his grand-dad make casual racial slurs while drunk on expensive scotch or whatever. He grew up in deep privilege in Canada, which means the demographic of his personal day-to-day sphere probably never fell below the "96% white" mark. No disrespect to Canada, but let's be honest... the Caucasian population is very large, and (from what I understand), there isn't a lot of racial diversity in the upper echelons of privilege in Canada. When I really tried to think about it, given the above, and what I know from my own life experience..... I thought about how it''s really possible that he never had anyone around him to put him in check when he did things like that. I grew up in a very diverse area during a time when busing was in full swing, which meant you had kids of all races from the poorest and richest neighbourhoods in every school. And it wasn't surprising to see a few people get punched for some racist shit. Trudeau didn't have someone to punch him when he did some racist shit. It doesn't excuse what he did, but it's kind of unsurprising that he did what he did. So, in that light, was what he did more of an involuntary reflex of an ingrained mindset, or was he knowingly/purposefully being racist?
If it's an involuntary reflex of an ingrained mindset, is it an offense that can eventually be forgiven after due penance? It's not like he raped (or otherwise sexually violated) anyone or killed anyone or was in a violent gang of white supremacists who went to protests to fight minorities and liberals. I consider things like that unforgivable. I consider knowingly being a part of a power structure that keeps minorities of all types (not just racial types) and women (who in fact aren''t a minority,if I'm not mistaken) from participating and having a representative voice an unforgivable offense. If you leave that structure, and you sincerely turn around and work to destroy that same system you served, to me that makes the previous offense forgivable. And I think in this Trudeau case, and in similar cases all over the world, we have to ask ourselves two main questions:
a) What acts of contrition qualify as true repentance for a person in power who is found to have previously (but not recently) done something like wearing blackface, or wearing a "God Hates F-gs" shirt, or holding a "Keep the Women in the Kitchen" sign in a picture from some toxic-masculinity-fueled bro-party in college? What can that person do to regain the trust of the people, assuming the person holds themselves accountable and sincerely wants to change?
b)What amount of time has to pass between the incident and having your transgression being shown to the world? I mean, if you find out your governor is currently posting memes degrading women or using the n-word or wearing a Klan hood...they have to go. They're nowhere near ready to be sincere in any apology, much less change their ways. If the incident was 20-some years ago, and the person has, in the interim, shown they're willing to do the work to eradicate the system that allowed them to both commit and get away with their offenses.....is that enough to regain trust?
I don't know how popular Trudeau was before he got exposed, or how much the bombshell impacted his popularity. I'm always leary of polls (especially after every poll in the world except Fox said HRC was going to win in 2016), and I'm not surrounded by Canadians while living full time in Canada. So I don't know how the average Canadian feels about him. I don't know to what extent women and minorities regard him as an ally, much less as a champion of their causes. I don't know. Like I said, it will be interesting to see all this play out.
ALSO.... what in the %*&!# is a "racialized person/citizen"?!?! All the reporters and Trudeau and Scheer and apparently every Canadian keep talking about "racialized" people. Is there some cultural/colloquial nuance where that's considered the Canadian version of "people of colour"? "Racialized people/person" just sounds.....gross. I feel slightly nauseous every time I've heard the term.
30) I think the xenophobic attacks in Johannesburg, South Africa are disgusting. I know South Africa (and really any African country) has that long history of outsiders coming in and imposing their will (either militarily or, more commonly nowadays, economically) on the people. Just think about how the entire map of Africa is basically a collection of European-made boundaries and borders. I just hope people realize it's time to put the "union" in "African Union" and stop this type of internecine, African-on-African violence. Stop fighting over old (even ancient) territorial disputes. It's time to take your eyes off the past, and look towards the future. Africa is more powerful together, as one continent. Non-Africans have been taking advantage of division and propping up puppet leaders for centuries now, seeding "divide and conquer" strategies between AU member-states. This type of African-on-African violence just plays into that. To borrow a phrase from the kids, "you hate to see it". I want to see a strong, united Africa, not an Africa eating itself from the inside out.
31) If you ever need a solid case study in white privilege, try comparing the activism of Greta Thunberg and Amariyanna Copney (better known as "Little Miss Flint"). In fact, just look at the difference between their wikipedia pages: Thunberg has a huge write up and Copney has like two paragraphs. Thunberg has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, while Copney has essentially been treated like a novelty. Thunberg took a 15 day yacht trip to America while Copney travels like a normal human being. Etc, etc, et-f***ing-cetera. Copney actually watches people die as a direct cause of water contamination and racism, while Thunberg's cause is more abstract (if she's seen people dying, it's, at "best", an indirect cause of global warming). It's so mind-boggling Actually, it's not mind-boggling at all. It's exactly what you'd expect from America and the world in general. To quote Greta Thunberg, "How dare you". (PS- Flint's water is STILL.....5 years later...undrinkable.. Let that sink in...people haven't been able to drink the water in their homes for 5+ years, and no one can be bothered to fix the problem.)
Also: I'm not saying Greta Tunberg's activism isn't important. It is. Climate change is an issue that needs to be addressed. I'm just pointing out the fact that her activism is no more or less important than Amariyanna Copney's, but only one of them is being considered for a Nobel Peace Prize and getting insane amounts of media coverage.
32)I think this is a great time to impeach Trump. You don't get a full term of Pence, and he's definitely the walking definition of "lack of personality", so he doesn't win the presidential election. I really hope Trump gets impeached.
33) I had a blurb about the trial of the murder of Botham Jean that covered the verdict, the sentencing, and the aftermath...and then I promptly deleted it because I got way too emotional and needed time to decompress before I felt I could be more...tactful. So, point by point:
a) The Verdict: The jury did the right thing, convicting her of murder.
b) The Sentencing: I didn't feel it was enough. I feel like she's going to do maybe 2 or 3 years of the 10 years in prison, and then will probably end up being in a halfway house for a minute before being on probation. Not enough. This was an "on the street" split second decision. She went into someone's apartment and shot them. I've seen pictures comparing her apartment to his, and they aren't even remotely similar in terms of furniture and even layout. She didn't even think to call for back up on her police radio she was wearing. She could have stood int he hall, called for backup, and waited. She lived on the 3rd floor. His only way out was through the door one way or another. But she went straight for the gun, and immediately pulled the trigger. And the jury convicted her of murder, not manslaughter. 5 to 10 years is manslaughter time, not murder time.
c)The Aftermath: I'm disappointed in the way the family (especially the brother) of Botham Jean handled the aftermath. I can't believe the brother went up and hugged the person who killed his brother and said he didn't want her to go to jail. That's bullshhh. If he wants to forgive her, that's his business. If he wants to hug her, he can go visit her in jail and hug her in some conjugal hugging trailer or whatever. But doing that in front of the cameras, and the ensuing narrative of "this guy can forgive the white lady who killed his brother, why can't you just get over racism like him?"... not my cup of tea. I think they call that "bad optics". The judge hugging her and turning all preacher...nope, not a fan. Not only is it unprofessional, but it's also a total violation of the secular nature of the court system. If she wants to give a murderer a bible and preach, she can go visit the murderer in jail and give her a bible and preach to conjugal prayer trailer. Not in a court of law. Law has to be secular. There's no place for any religion to be preached in a court of law, ever.
It was the aftermath of the trial that really made my blood boil. It was just a pathetic display by all parties.
Also, RIP to Joshua Brown, who served as a key witness to the defense in this trial. He got shot and killed just days after the sentencing. I'm not going to jump the gun and say "Oh, he was definitely hit by police in retaliation for going on the stand". But damn....it really does look suspicious. But he's also been shot at previously, too. But I think any investigation should be done by an outside organisation (e.g; FBI, DoJ). .A lot of but's there. So, like I said, I don't want to jump to conclusions, and I think Dallas could save a lot of grief for itself by looking to an outside organisation to clear this up. Because a police department executing a witness would be.....wow......
(update 10/11/19: As more information is coming out on Joshua Brown's murder, I'm still left wondering a lot of things like... this guy really had 12 POUNDS of marijuana in his apartment? That's...a lot. I guess I just find it hard to believe that he'd have that kind of weight in his apartment, especially so soon after that trial. It seems stupidly/suicidally incautious. I'm not saying it's impossible (because let's be honest...if history has taught us anything it's that human stupidity has no bounds), but.. it's kind of far-fetched to me.
34)I was half-interested in seeing the Joker movie, because I do like the character from the comics (especially Grant Morrison's take from his mid-aughts to early-10's Batman run, where he kind of reconciled the varied representations/incarnations of the Joker character). I even liked the Heath Ledger version of the character, because he played the character as a great polar-opposite of Batman. It makes for an interesting conversation on "ultimate order, ultimate chaos, and the appropriate mixture of the two".
But this new movie.... I'm just not super interested. The character just doesn't really work by itself. He's a good "foil" device, but on his own, the character is just... boring. Everything I've seen and read about the movie, from trailers to reviews, just strikes me as...."meh". I'm not really interested in spending like $20 to watch the ultimate edgelord fantasy. I might go see it when it gets a little cheaper. Or I'll wait to check it out (for free!) at the public library when the DVD comes out. Most of my interest in seeing it at this point is to satisfy my curiosity as to what people thought was so good about it that it's already won some major awards before its wide release.
35) RIP Atatiana Jefferson. Shot dead in her own home by police. By an officer who failed to identify himself as an officer. I feel horrible for the neighbour who called the police (on the non-emergency line) to do a welfare check on her home. It sounds like he's struggling with some guilt, but that guilt doesn't belong to him. I hope he can come to see that this is all on the officer.
36) WTF is going on in North Philadelphia? 3 mass shootings in as many days? Apparently no one's died (thankfully), but still....
I know there's no way to predict these mass shootings, but damn.... This is a problem for everyone.... every gender, every race, every class, etc.. If ever there was an issue that should be bringing us together, it's the issue of mass shootings. But we, as humans, still manage to find ways to divide ourselves on even this issue.... I just don't understand people.
37) RIP Representative Elijah Cummings. I don't have a lot to say here aside from the fact that he was a powerful voice in the U.. S. congress, and he was insanely popular with his constituency (I don't think he ever received less than 70% of the vote in any election to the House of Representatives....which qualifies as "insanely popular" to me).
38) I just saw the news about the young lady (a student here at OSU) who was arrested for.... riding her bike on the wrong side of the road....and the (alleged) use of excessive force used against her. I watched the video taken by another student, and I have to say, it did seem like the police went way too far in trying to keep her on the ground, even after giving her permission to sit up. All I've really read about the incident can be found here (link), and the video can be found there, too.
While I definitely agree with ticketing people who don't follow bike rules (especially in congested areas), I've also seen (quite literally) hundreds of people (of all genders and races) over the years do the same thing on and near campus (in front of police, even) and they've never been stopped by police, much less handcuffed and forced to the ground. I saw 3 people yesterday (10/18/19) riding bikes against traffic, and then turning onto the sidewalk and weaving through pedestrian traffic. One of the bike riders didn't even have his hands on his handle bars. So I think it's odd that, all of a sudden, officers decide to enforce laws that they don't normally enforce on this one young lady. Was it racially motivated? I don't know. I don't know either of those cops and I'm not a mind reader. Sure, I agree she should have just shown the police her I.D. when asked, but there really isn't a need to go to the lengths of handcuffing her and holding her on the ground, especially when you're not even bothering to pull over the hundreds of other people (again, of all races and genders) that commit the exact same violation every day on and near campus (and in Corvallis in general, to be honest).
I'm definitely interested to see how all this plays out and how the community and communities of Corvallis and OSU respond.
Also: Shoutout to the students (and non-students) who stood up for the girl as she was getting cuffed and tossed around by the police. It's important to acknowledge the fact that they stood up for what was right. And shoutout to Ed Ray for putting the pressure on the State police for total transparency and reform. He's making a pretty bold move there, and I appreciate that.
39) Now that Beto has dropped out of the Dem Primaries, I hope he chooses to try for a Senate run. I like him, but I just didn't think this was the right year for him. I'd classify him as a good "peacetime on the homefront candidate", but I don't think that the homefront (i.e.; the political climate in the U.S.) is anywhere near peacetime right now. But I like Beto, and I hope he stays involved in politics. He's smart, passionate, and people seem to like him.
40) I've seen a lot of commentary that's saying (either explicitly or implicitly) that Mayor Pete doesn't have a strong backing from the African American community because "the African American community is more homophobic per capita", which is BS. First, note that African American's make up 12% of the LGBTQ community (via Williams Institute/UCLA law:link) while making up only about 10% of the American population. So this means, African American presence in the LGBTQ community is actually higher relative to presence in the general population. And look at people who organize and/or participate in homophobic action groups like Straight Pride Parades.... which are predominately white. So there's that. There's also the fact that Mayor Pete has shown himself to be either a) outright ignorant of African American issues or b) a racist if he's not outright ignorant of the issues African Americans face in America. I didn't support Mayor Pete before, and I don't now. But whether or not you support an unqualified man for president, don't indulge the racist dialogue that African Americans aren't supporting him because he's a homosexual.
41) Study Break post: I'm disappointed to see Kamala Harris has apparently dropped out of the Dem Primaries. I guess when your infrastructure falls apart like that, even the best candidates need to either take a pause to restructure, or just quit. I hope Harris is just taking a pause to restructure. All of the stuff going on with NATO and Trump these last few days kind of highlighted one of the things I like about Harris: she has an air that would command respect from other international leaders. I don't see candidates like, for instance, Mayor Pete or Booker or, formerly, Beto being taken as seriously on an international stage as Harris or Warren or even Biden (more by reputation and proximity to Obama, who was fairly popular on the international stage). To be honest, Warren kind of worries me on an international level, because she just doesn't have that look behind her eyes that says "I can wyle out if need be". To be even more honest, the only thing I liked about Hilary as a candidate in 2016 was the fact that I could definitely see Hillary being respected (and probably even feared, behind closed doors) on an international level.
Anyway, if Harris really is done, and fully dropped out with no intention of getting back in the race....then I'm going throw 90% of my hat in the Team Warren circle, and the other 10% can land in the Yang circle. I just can't fully let go of the only candidate (Yang) running on a Universal Basic Income platform, even if I know they're not going to win.
42) It's been 50 years since Fred Hampton was murdered by police and the feds. It kind of makes you reflect on how much has changed, and how much hasn't changed, in that time. 50 years really isn't that long ago. I'm going to expand on this later, but for right now, I'm just going to let it sit. Anyway, for now.... R.I.P. Fred Hampton.
(Time lapse: a few weeks...now expanding on above.)
So I thought about a lot of different things I could say in terms of all the things that have, and have not, changed since the 1960's in terms of racism specifically against African-Americans. You could definitely talk about the larger numbers of African Americans getting degrees in higher education and the types of fields/jobs African Americans are moving in to as a result (most importantly, in my opinion: banking/finance, STEM, law, education, and health care). This is a positive change. If, for instance, you have a black engineer working on a water filtration system for a city, you have a higher likelihood of avoiding another Flint. That's a good thing., assuming said engineer feels obliged to protect their people from avoidable illness and even death. That kind of scenario illustrates why representation of marginalized groups matters (for all marginalized groups, and the DAPL situation especially comes to mind, but let me focus on this one). You can come up with similar scenarios for every one of the 5 fields I listed, sometimes with multiple intersections of the 5. Anyway, increased numbers of African Americans with degrees and influential jobs is good.
I can think of a lot of other examples of good changes. But then you still have to address the issues like the legal system that has black people serving longer sentences for NOT raping a girl (the Central Park 5) than white kids who actually get caught in the act of raping a girl (Brock Turner). And by longer, obviously I mean DECADES longer. You can find too many similar stories/examples, with varying levels of extremity, since the mid-60's to early 70's. I don't really want to fall down the research-rabbit-hole, but it's not hard to find the stats on discrepancy in sentencing for similar/identical crimes, stats on illegal lock up, actual video footage of false evidence being planted, etc. You can watch video upon video of unnecessary force (to the point of death in some cases) that go unpunished. The legal/law enforcement situation in too many cities and states (and even on the federal level) is just rigged against black people. Now it's just more an issue of finding legal loop holes and twisting wording, as opposed to just being overtly racist.
I could really go on too long with this. But I need to stop before this turns into a whole 20,000 word essay. And I definitely need to relax a bit before the next term starts. But I said I'd expand on the initial post, and so...I did.
43)I'm not super surprised about the results of the UK election. And in all honesty, I won't be terribly surprised if the Senate doesn't vote to impeach Trump, even though I want them to. And, with even more honesty (feat.: candour), I'm not going to be extremely surprised if Trump wins again (even though I hope he doesn't).
As far as the election in 2020 goes, if the Senate decides Trump doesn't have to vacate the office... the only thing the Dems will have accomplished would be turning him into a martyr. I've said before, and I'll say it again, this was the time to impeach if the Dems were really going to go for it. They went for it, and I hope that they succeed. I just don't know if their case is strong enough to sway what's been a very strong party bias. And, to be even more honest-est-est-er (w/ Tabasco green hot sauce), I don't think the Dems are doing much to show the Senate Republicans, or the nations conservative population in general, that they are any less biased. There are some very un-fine people on both sides, to paraphrase you-know-who.
Frankly, I'm glad I'm unaffiliated, party-wise, because I don't have to be associated with either major party right now. I think both sides are fairly out of touch at the moment. I think the major shifts in culture and society caused by our accelerating technology has thrown people for a loop. We're all of a sudden connected to everyone, and it's been unsettling for a lot of people. It's kind of like a riptide, and instead of letting the riptide just take us and spit us out, a lot of us are fighting the tide. In this extended metaphor, "the other side" is a world where we accept the true limits of diversity: there's always going to be people with conservative values, there's always going to be people with liberal values, there's always going to be people somewhere in the middle of the two extremes, and there's always going to be people who defy any categorization*******. None of this means you have to become what you don't like. For example, I'm an atheist. I'm firm in that; it's a hardline belief that I won't be swayed from. I also realize that the majority of people prefer to believe in some sort of deity. I recognize that I can live in the same world as them without having to take on their beliefs. I don't have to be friends with them, I don't have to date/marry them. I don't have to have debates about belief. But I can live and let live. When they try to sway me (aggressively or not), I can say "That's your opinion, and I don't share it", and then I can walk away.
There are some changes that we all have to accept, on every end of the spectrum. Technology isn't limited to the social aspect. We all have to accept that accelerating technology is changing the job market and the way we consume. I think we all need to just accept (for example) that the transition from things like coal and fossil fuels to renewable energies is inevitable, but it also isn't going to be instantaneous. There's no 5-year plan (or even 50-year plan, in my opinion) that will get us to a point where we're 100% un-reliant on traditional energy sources. But the change has to happen, and so the job market has to change. People will have to start training to repair wind turbines instead of oil rigs. Things of that nature. (And personally, I think a Universal Basic Income will help soften the blow of that particular transition.)
I'm writing more than I intended, so I'm going to wrap it up here, but I think this all kind of goes back to a post I put on here a few years ago where I expressed disappointment in our collective "messiah-complex". Conservatives and liberals (especially those on the extreme ends) are really clinging to this "my way, and my way only" mentality, and both sides are diving towards the figure that promises them their respective paradises and that promises to vanquish the enemies on the other side. And it's really just kind of sad to watch this all play out. It's sad to watch people sell out their supposed firmly-held beliefs just to "get the upper hand" so they can "defeat the other side". Politics right now just seems to resemble religion too much for my comfort.
As an add on: Let's keep it extra funky: One of the reasons I refuse to identify as a Democrat/Liberal is that most of them are just as racist as Republican/Conservatives. I've witnessed and experienced just as much racism from supposed "open minded" liberals/democrats as I have from conservatives/republicans. The main difference between the two groups is that, at least historically, one has been more prone to put minorities up as window-dressing to make it look like they're less racist, as opposed to just being outright racist. I don't play the "lesser of two evils" game. Wrong is wrong. Evil is evil. Racism is racism. Anti-black is anti-black. And I don't really f__k with people who ride that "lesser of two evils" train and act like supporting a closeted racist is the same thing as actually fighting racism. And I don't f__ck with people who say their inclusive when all their non-white friends/co-workers/students/etc are from races that can be found on the "honourary Aryan" list (that's a real thing... go look it up).
I guess it just bothers me that you see these candidates all taking hardline stances on everything but the anti-black sentiments in this country. You see all these candidates standing up for a union (which isn't a bad thing) to show they'll stand up to "corporate America", but they won't stand up to racist police who like to shoot black people. You see the Democrats run Al Franken out of office for posing like he was going to grope a girl in a picture (as they should have), but they don't do the same when one of their people gets caught wearing blackface. You hear them (justifiably) rail on immigrants being detained in inhumane conditions, but where's the same energy for the ridiculous number of black people who get locked up in inhumane prison conditions for crimes they didn't even commit (or for *ahem* trumped up charges)? Look at AOC's pinned-up-top tweet on her twitter page and see her idea of "radical left" has no mention of curtailing illegal arrests (e.g.; planting fake evidence) or stopping shootings of unarmed black folks. She mentions "fixing the pipes in Flint" (which is great), but that's really it. Even the "radical" Democrats of colour could seemingly give half a f__k. It's just frustrating beyond words to sit and have to choose between two groups who seem like they couldn't give a f__k about over 30 million of their fellow Americans. What does it matter if college is free if you're institutions of learning are inherently racist and filled with racist staff and faculty? What does it matter if health care is free if your doctors and hospital staff are filled with racists? What does it matter if you're supporting unions who only find jobs for the minimal number of black people they need to find jobs for to meet their quota? F__k outta here. Two terms of Obama doesn't make America, or democrats, "not racist by default".
44) I don't claim to be an expert on this subject, but given what little I know about Macron's pension reform....I don't get what this extended strike in France is all about. Like, I'm definitely not French, so I don't know things like, say, the historical context of the existing system.... but his reform plan doesn't sound too extreme. From what I've read, it seems downright sensible, and designed with the intent of ensuring the system can exist in ANY form for a longer period of time. People are living longer, jobs are getting easier with the help of technology, etc. Any pension/social welfare system in any (and every) country is going to have to be adjusted to reflect those changes. (Honestly, I'd really like to have a conversation with someone who actually knows the in's and out's of this issue, so that I could get proper perspective).
45) Glad to see Congress voted to impeach Trump. I'm also somewhat disturbed by how little the fact he got impeached seems to mean to a lot of people....
I hope, for the sake of our country and our country's reputation around the world, that the Senate will shock us all and remove Trump from office.
46) December Dem Debates:
So I actually watched the whole thing (I’ve only caught portions and watched clips since the July debates). I was kind of disappointed Warren slipped back into her “frequent emotional tremor in her voice” mode. I think she did a decent job overall, but I kind of feel like she’s not developing her ideas enough. A lot of my support for her was based on the fact that I liked her ideas and plans, with the hope that the plans would be described in increasingly specific detail. I was kind of hoping she’d trim back on the scope of her plan and become a little more realistic. I felt Yang had the most realistic ideas overall, but even he had holes in the realism of his ideas. I like his stance on thorium nuclear energy, but (again) that’s something that isn’t necessarily realistic. I’m guessing there’s still some research, and then some development, needed to be done before you could implement that idea. There’s still not a single functioning thorium reactor… on Earth. Anywhere. Still, it’s being researched and developed around the globe (especially in China, India, and Canada). See the Wikipedia page on “thorium based nuclear power” for a good primer on the subject. It’s an awesome idea, but it’s obviously nothing that’s going to get done in the next 4 years. But when you say “We need to start paving the road to this goal by developing the technology, and I want my administration to start us on this path that future administrations can continue”, then you’re being realistic. It’s not an unrealistic idea like claiming “My administration is going to give everyone free healthcare, free college, a $15 minimum wage, AND we’re going to all be using 100% renewable energy… all in 4 years”. Personally, I think people are sick of wild promises that can never be kept.
As for my specific opinion on individual candidates:
Steyer: He didn’t get to say a lot, and I had no prior knowledge of him…so it’s hard for me to form an opinion on him. He kind of felt like…if you put a well-meaning chairperson from a charitable non-profit with no political experience on stage to run for president. He didn’t get into the drama, which was nice.
Yang: Might have been my favourite of the debate. I still love the “Freedom Dividend”/UBI idea (actually realistic), I like his immigration stance, I like his willingness to look at alternatives to traditional alternative energy. I like that he doesn’t get caught up in the drama (aside from jumping in on the utterly meme-able “wine cave” thing…which I get). I do have to say the “Aw shucks, what’s a nerdy outsider like me doing up here?!” schtick is kind of getting old. It was endearing for a while, but now it’s just like… you have good ideas, you’ve been at all the debates… just do your thing.
Klobuchar: It felt like she was trying to throw herself into drama to…prove she’s presidential? I think her “voice of moderation” thing is good to keep the field honest, and she’s right that you can’t just treat people like they’re just “fly-over state folk” and expect to win. I just feel like everything about her screams “good legislator, bad executive”.
Mayor Pete: I just can’t deal with this guy. When asked if he was for paying immigrants for being detained at ICE detention centres, he gave a no-hesitation yes, but he gave “umm’s”, “ahh’s” and “it’s a discussion to have” when asked about reparations for African American’s. He started off saying “yes” to reparations, but immediately walked it back. He’s just not a good candidate. He’s good at snappy clapbacks, but everything else? Pass.
Warren: Most of what I have to say about her is up above. Still, from the top 3 she’s my favourite.
Sanders: I just can’t feel the Bern. It all feels like a broken record with him. He’s just too over the top with everything. There’s just nothing there that feels realistic. Like he really believes we believe, somehow, he’s going to change America into a completely different country (in 4 years time) by…hating billionaires? Got it. Also the “and I’m white” thing was really….weird. Very cringe.
Biden: He just feel like he’s trying to prove he’s the old, white Obama. He is who he is. I don’t understand his appeal. I don’t think he’s the guy to lead America into a modern, diverse future. I feel like he represents stagnation.
47) I'd be lying if I said I didn't get pleasure from the fact that the new Star War movie has a "rotten" rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I make no bones about the fact that I hate the whole series with a passion. STOP MAKING THIS CRAP AND START COMING UP WITH GOOD, ORIGINAL IDEAS!
48) So I like to watch the news when I do cardio at the gym. Most times I like to have both Fox and CNN on, since I feel like the truth usually lies between liberal-biased media and conservative-biased media. . Today (25 December, 2019) I was watching both and was surprised by something: Fox News was actually talking about politics and CNN had some bs Jesus "documentary" running. Which is kind of the opposite of what you'd expect, but there you go. The thing that fucked me up was that CNN's "documentary" was just like.... Christian propaganda. It wasn't even an objective look at the subject. Like, personally, I don't even believe that Jesus was a real person (much less a deity). There's no real historical record of the guy, and what (very) little that does exist is highly disputed (e.g.; Josephus has a VERY small blurb about a "Yeshua" who was executed, which isn't exactly a thorough biography). As an atheist, I obviously don't believe in ANY deities, but it bothers me how many people are just like "Oh yeah, this guy definitely existed" without any real evidence beyond some biased religious collection of myths and stories. And if we're taking religious texts as "fact", then we have to start opening up the possibility that every myth and religious text is ALSO true. I just don't understand why people feel the need to believe this bible crap, and I don't get why even supposedly open-minded liberals feel the need to shove it down peoples' throats.
Anyway, and I can't believe I'm saying/writing this, but shout out to Fox News for actually covering politics during an important political moment in our nations history.
49) I think killing Soleimani was rash and a mistake. I don't get the tactical logic. It's a "try to put out a fire with gasoline" move. I think the situation we have with Iran right now is way too fractured to put this kind of stress on it. This is exactly the kind of ham-fisted maneuver that inspires larger scale terrorist attacks. I've never been fond of the way we've handled diplomacy (or lack there-of) in the Middle East, and this could end up being a prime example of how our approach to dealing with conflicts with (and between) countries like Iran and Iraq and Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia (etc.) leads to worse conflicts than the previous conflicts we were trying to resolve in the first place. And this is especially stupid considering our recent withdrawal from the nuclear deal with Iran (and all the blowhard rhetoric that went along with said withdrawal). All of this...it's...not a recipe for a safe and serene resolution. I'm not saying Soleimani was any kind of good person, but you don't assassinate someone of his stature and expect everything to be sweet.
50) So today (18 Jan. 2020) I was out doing my laundry, and I watched this goofy, fragile, David Cross looking white guy get all mad at a Latino guy for like no reason what-so-ever. I didn't really catch why he was mad (all I caught was him yelling something about "English" and "it's not a game"), he was just acting crazy for no reason (it was totally unprovoked... the Latino guy was just doing laundry with his lady and his kids). It's situations like this that really drive home the fact that it's these racist, nationalist types who are the real problem. Everyone else is just peacefully doing laundry, and this one racist white guy is the one yelling and causing problems and being wild aggressive for absolutely no reason. He was the only person in the laundromat who I would say was exhibiting any kind of criminal behaviour (in this case, disturbing the peace), but he probably justifies his racism by thinking people of colour are all criminals. I don't know... it just really bothered me. Part of me just wanted to go up to the white guy and open hand slap him for being an idiot. But shout out the the Latino guy for just keeping his cool and laughing it off. He's the type of person who makes America a great country, and the angry racist white guy is the type of person who holds us all back with criminal behaviour.
51) The proceedings of this Senate impeachment trial should be done in exactly the same manner as the Clinton impeachment trial (where witness testimony was, in fact, part of the proceedings). I don't see the prerequisite "67 guilty votes" number being reached (unfortunately), but if the Republicans want to be viewed as something close to "fair and impartial" now, and by future generations, they'd do well to keep this proceeding in line with the Clinton proceedings. There's absolutely NO reason not to follow precedent here.
52) As I've said before, I'm with Greta Thunberg in the sense that I believe that something needs to be done in terms of adjusting our lives (globally, locally, and everywhere in between) to create a more sustainable of living, producing, and just functioning as a species in general. BUT.... just invoking science in a strictly (hyperbolic) emotional argument/stance isn't enough. There's no way we're going to stop stop fossil fuel use on a large scale by the end of 2020, much less 2030. As I said before, the technology just doesn''t exist. A solar powered yacht is great for getting a family of 3 (or whatever) from Europe to the East Coast of the U.S., but if you want to ship, say, large amounts of materials to build large scale wind turbine "farms" from the U.S. to Africa....there's no way to do that without big planes and big boats that need fossil fuels to carry that kind of cargo. No technology exists to replace the types of planes and boats and trucks we need to move large amounts of cargo. What happens when you need to send humanitarian aid to a country like, say, Australia.? Float it over? Invoking science without using actual scientific logic and critical thinking is just....religion. I'm not with that. I think Greta's heart is in the right place, but I'm not with this approach she and others (such as AOC and Al Gore) are taking. It's not feasible. It's science fiction.
Also, completely divesting from any economic funding for fossil fuels without any feasible plan to buffer the economic impact such a divestment would have on the countries/regions that heavily rely on fossil fuel research and production would pretty much guarantee World War 3.
53) I wanted to say "Happy Rev Dr. MLK, Jr. day!", but I was just wild depressed by all the monetizing of the man and his message. I was buying some raisinets at the local cornerstore (I just can't call it a bodega if it's in a town with a population less than 10,000 people), and I was looking at ads for things like pre-paid phones using the man's face to sell their products. It's just...inappropriate. (And I honestly feel the same way about using other dead people like Lincoln or G. Washington, etc.... It's just disrespectful, IMO)
54) Can Hilary Clinton please just Pokemon-Go-away?
55)RIP Kobe and Gianna Bryant. Kobe and his daughter Gianna were killed in a helicopter crash early today (26 Jan, 2020). Kobe's work ethic and his drive to always be the best he could be have always been an inspiration to me.
56) Shoutout to the young queen Koffee for winning a Grammy! I'm a pretty big fan. Check out her songs "Toast", "Rapture" (especially the remix with Govana), "Burning" and "Ragamuffin (with Chronixx)". I definitely want to her her do a track with Romain Virgo.
In other reggae/dancehall news... my top 5 dancehall tracks in 2019 were:
a) "One General" by Bounty Killer (that song just goes so hard!)
b) "Brick pan Brick" by Skillibeng (he rides that riddim. No one else can use it. It's his alone)
c) "Glow" by Romain Virgo and Christopher Martin. (they bring the positivity.. When these two get together it's always magic. We need the full-length collab album in 2020!)
d)"Trust" by Buju Banton (man came back with a whole new flow and style! this song was wild. I love his old stuff, but this was next level!)
e)"Holy Mountain" by Sizzla, Mavado, Buju Banton and 070 Shake w/ DJ Khaled (I love Sizzla's verse. Everyone has hot verses on this, and 070 Shake rocks the hook nicely, but when Sizzla comes in with his verse, I get chills. It's kind of a weird song.... the first time I listened to it I was like "I love all the artists, but this is all over the place", but it grew on me. The beat is wild, and Khaled kept the yelling-over-the-track at the bare minimum. Shout out to restraint. Also: watching Khaled struggle to make the Star of David sign with his hands in the video was low-key hilarious. Also, I think it's sort of funny that the Billy Boyo sample makes you think it's just going to be some song about smoking weed...but then it ends up being something totally different.)
I also really liked "Empire Medley" by the Gaza Empire crew and "Be Careful" by Agent Sasco off the Notnice record. "Everywhere We Go" by Busy Signal was hot, too. And every track over the "Aircraft" riddim (my favourite is "Watch Dem by Ding Dong Ravers, released early 2020)
57) RE: Bombing of U.S. Embassy in Iraq.... This is exactly what I was talking about in point #49 above. What did people think was going to happen? If Iran killed one of our top military leaders, do you think we'd just roll over and say "You win! We won't retaliate!"? Of course not. Now imagine if, for decades upon decades, Iran had military installations in Canada and Mexico (and maybe a few on American soil), and periodically deployed bombing runs on U.S. cities and periodically ran ground troop invasions on top of that? What's going on right now...what's been going on for decades...is a culmination of our country, and our countries allies, doing just that in the Middle East. This is bigger than Donald Trump being stupid and doing stupid things. This is what imposing a long term, aggressive military presence gets you. It hasn't been worth the thousands and thousands of American lives lost (not to mention all of the long-term suffering from debilitating physical injuries and/or PTSD and other debilitating mental injuries), either, since pretty much nothing has changed over there despite our military presence. We need to stop wasting time, money, and (most importantly) people lives for....what? Oil we've been getting anyway? The hope that these countries will convert to Western style democracies? It's not worth it.
58) No matter how this whole "Iowa Caucus" thing goes, I'm still pulling for Warren out of all the Dem front runners. I still think Mayor Pete is a horrible candidate, regardless of how well he's done (or will do) in Iowa.. His ignorance of racial issues, for one thing, is a major turn off for a lot of people (myself included), and I think the Dems could end up losing a lot of voters if they chose Mayor Pete.
That being said, I don't think there was some conspiracy to get Mayor Pete over "The Bern". I think the Iowa Caucus/delegate system is faulty/outdated, much like the Electoral College system, but I don't think there was any conspiracy. I just think people in Iowa were attracted to Mayor Pete's more moderate politics. In my opinion, he's an ultra-moderate, Obama-ultra-lite candidate. I just don't see him beating Trump.. He has limited appeal, outside of liberal-ultra-moderate white people.
59) I've been following the impeachment trial some, and...... it's just sad. We're essentially just watching the supposed leaders of our nation troll each other. It's so frustrating. I think the case is there, and Trump should be removed from office, but I just don't like how either side has handled this, from the Congressional hearings and decision up to the Senate trial. Watching bits of the State of the Union Reality Show (which was oddly reminiscent of like every episode of Oprah's talk show) was also wild depressing. I just hate all this partisan posturing. One thing that's really attracted me to Andrew Yang's campaign is the way he just doesn't seem partisan. He's anti-Trump, but he doesn't have that "anyone who's not a Democrat is evil!" vibe that so many Dem candidates seem to have.
60) I'm kind of disappointed to see my Pistons traded Andre Drummond, but I'm not really surprised. I kind of figured this would happen sooner or later, which is one reason why I've avoided calling him one of my favourite players on the team. I really don't understand the trade, though. Anyway, best of luck to Andre in (ugh) Cleveland.
61) RE: Dem Primaries, Post-Super Tuesday
I'm riding the Warren train until the end, but if it absolutely has to be either Bernie or Biden, I'd rather vote for Bernie. If Biden wins the Dem nomination, I'm 100% voting third party. (Update: And, of course, after I wrote that Warren dropped out. But I'm not really feeling Bernie or Biden. It's disappointing to see Warren drop out, as I really saw her as the most thoughtful and thought-out candidate. I guess it just goes to show that "electability" to most people has more to do with personality than ideas. It's a real shame.)
61) RE: Coronavirus.
I'm kind of ambivalent towards this right now. I keep thinking of all of the other viruses/diseases that were supposed to destroy humanity (e.g.; swine flu, H1N1, ebola, avian/bird flu), and how those diseases, while horrible, were never really the insane global health threats they were made out to be. As of today (12am 6 March 2020), the death toll in the U.S. is 12. That's 46 fewer deaths than the whole "vaping disease" scare from a few months back. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't be working on vaccines and such to combat the coronavirus, but.... as of right now, I just don't think it's the apocalyptic nightmare it's being made out to be. I have the feeling that, like the swine flu or H1N1, in about a year most people will have forgotten about this particular health scare. It's weird how our species (humans) is so prone to mass panic that is immediately followed by mass lacunar amnesia. It's one of our more detrimental flaws, as a species.
(note: In the above, I'm just trying to say "Don't fall prey to mass panic". The coronavirus is obviously worse than just a common cold, and should be treated as such. But we need to stay level-headed. Don't ignore the threat, but don't treat it like the end of the world. Basically, don't fall prey to hyperbole in either direction. Use common sense, be conscious of your fellow humans, and we'll all see this through.)
62) Glad to see Harvey Weinstein got served that guilty verdict. Hopefully he gets some extra years tagged on in his next trial in LA.
63) The Jay Electronica album was good. I was hoping it was going to be more of a solo album (with more than 10 tracks), but it was/is still good. I wouldn't call it earth-shaking amazing or anything, but it's good. Solid 4 stars out of 5.
64) 19March 2020: I just want to say that, during this coronovirus crisis, I appreciate those in our government who are willing to work outside of partisanship. This isn't a time for "Republicans are scum because..." or "Democrats are losers because..." rhetoric. This is about overcoming an obstacle together. And maybe we can all learn something about working together for our mutual benefit. One of the ongoing (non-mathematical) themes in this blog is "We have to accept that different ways of living work better for different people". Some people are more conservative, some are more liberal, and most people are some mix of the two. But for all people, anywhere on any spectrum, basic survival is a unifying goal. So I applaud everyone in every society, from the highest levels of power down to the street-level who are working together despite their differences (and differences of opinions) to assure our mutual survival.
65) Odd musing about a "recurring dream series" I've been having over the last few months
Ok, so I define "recurring dream series" as a sequence of dreams that basically act like a serialized TV series. So my "dream series" focuses on a made up place called "Granite Mountain". There are actual mountains called Granite Mountain in the world, but (as far as I know) none of them match the one in my dream.
It's super weird because I have fairly vivid recollections of the mountain after I wake up. It's a very wide-based mountain with a fairly rounded top..
In the first dream, I was in an alpine rock garden on the southwest side of the mountain. There's a parking area about half a mile to a mile downslope from the rock garden, and in between there's some interesting shear cliffs that can be circumvented (I don't climb shear cliffs even in my dreams). This dream was pretty short.
In the second dream, I was on the south-by-south-east side of the mountain, where I drove a dirt road up to a...not-very-modern cafe/diner. After the parking lot of the diner, there's a suspension footbridge you cross, and then there's a trail on the other side of the chasm that leads to a string of 8 lakes of various sizes. I've only seen 4 of them so far. The first one is fairly uninspiring and just sits off the side of the trail. That was as far as I got in the second dream.
In the third, fourth and fifth dreams, I've explored the string of lakes. They're found at increasing elevations, and they aren't super-accessible from the trail. After the 3rd lake, the trail starts curving around a cone, but it isn't the peak of the mountain. The trail peters out, and you have to climb on this columnar basalt plateau to get to the other lakes. This scramble path leads around to the true east side of the mountain. Then I can see the 4th lake, but I haven't traversed the boulder-field between the scramble path and the lake.
A few days ago, I had my sixth dream of the mountain, but it didn't actually take place on the mountain itself. I was checking out a house for rent (or for sale...I forget that part) in the woods. It was a really unique, kind of eccentric house (probably influenced by all the videos about shipping container homes and biodome houses I occasionally watch). Anyway, I walked into one room with this huge ceiling-to-floor, wall-to-wall window and the owner/landlord says "Yeah, it's a great view of Granite Mountain". So, apparently in my weird dream world, I'm about to move into a house about 20 miles north-east of this mountain.
It's weird... I'll go weeks without dreaming about this mountain, but then all of a sudden I return to the theme. My above descriptions don't do justice to the vividness of my recollections of these dreams. I'll definitely add more here if/when the theme recurs. I just thought it was a weird/neat phenomenon, and thought this was a good place to leave my recollection.I wish I was better at description, because the dreams themselves are fairly amazing, and usually beautiful.
66) I like to take a moment to put on record that I haven't stepped foot inside of the state of Michigan since July of 2010. I do not live there, and I have no intention of ever setting foot in that state again, whether to visit or to live. (as of 14 Oct, 2020...still haven't been back to Michigan, Still not ever going back. I plan to keep at least 1500 miles between me and Michigan for the remainder of my life).
67) Math Education Musing
I'm pretty sure this made the rounds in at least a couple of the more snarky circles in the math community, The following is a gigantic mess of quackery that would probably get a "perfect" score on the Math version of John Baez's Crackpot Index (link here...it's hilarious).
Reader, I present to you actor-from-the-1st-Iron-Man-movie Terrence Dashawn Howard's proof, in three pages, that 1 multiplied 1 is NOT 1 (it's...wait for it...2!)
Page 1 of "proof"
Page 2 of "proof"
Page 3 of "proof"
Obviously this guy has a lifelong grudge against the multiplicative identity. (That's my last joke, because this IS serious)
I want to say, firstly, that I was REALLY hesitant about posting this because I was scared it might reinforce negative stereotypes that say African Americans are bad at math. You can find significant numbers of science crackpots in any race. I'm sharing this particular "proof" because the multiplicative identity is such a basic idea in mathematics. This is a really good model to study the disconnect during the transition between basic applied/example driven arithmetic and symbolic logic in early level math.
I think it's safe to say that Mr. Howard would agree that if he bought 1 candy bar for $1, he should only have to pay $1, not $2. He probably also understands that if he bought 2 candy bars that cost $1 each, he'd have to pay $2. And thus he understands the basic concept that 1 times 1 is 1, and 2 times 1 is 2.
Obviously his disconnect is when he starts trying to express this in terms of the symbols a, b, and c.
Most people familiar with basic symbolic logic will notice right away that his biggest error comes when he assumes a*b=c implies a+b=c. I personally think the biggest (and maybe less obvious) mistake he made was in assuming a*1=c and b*1=c cannot imply that b=c=a. To me it seems like he just can't arrive at the idea that a*1=a (or b*1=b) because his intuition tells him the its impossible for c to be equal to a (or b) because, I'm guessing, it doesn't make sense to him that three different letters can represent the same number. He probably thinks "a, b, and c are not the same letter, so the numbers they represent cannot be the same either.". I'm not making fun of him. . As someone who graduated high school with a GPA below 2.0 AND failed basic high school geometry, I'm not really the one to make fun of someone's math mistake. As someone who definitely had troubles adjusting from basic arithmetic to symbolic algebras and intuitive mathematical logic, I just feel like there should be a better way to transition students through that...uhh....transition. I personally think symbolic arithmetic (and intuitive symbolic logic) should be taught earlier in math education, at a very VERY deliberate and slow pace. With modern computation technology, an emphasis on basic computation is less and less important anyway.
I think the multiplicative identity (and additive identity, for that matter) is a great place to begin introducing the concepts of proof, intuitive logic, and symbolic variables at an earlier age. I think, at a slow enough pace, you can teach the basic logical concept of:
"IF a*1=c and b*1=c
THEN a=b=c
SO, if we say a=1, then c=1, and we must have that b=1".
In my opinion, the way you get kids to care is through what I call "passive praise", which is saying things like :"I think you guys are smart enough to learn an idea that's important to professional mathematicians and physicists" or something along those lines.
(I'm going to write more on this later...promise...but right now I'm feeling a little discombobulated/incoherent as a result of my normal routine being thrown off by this coronavirus quarantine thing)
68) I want to congratulate Tucker Carlson on giving possibly the dumbest, most uninformed opinion piece on higher education that I've heard in a long time (click here for link to video).
I thought his rambling on endowments was especially weird, considering endowments (usually privately donated) are basically a free-market form of funding universities and their research. I guess Tucker doesn't like free market capitalism?
I also thought his rant about taking all (or most) colleges to an online format was weird too. There's so much you can't do online... from courses to research. Most people can't afford to put a complete university level chemistry or physics or biology lab in their house. Can you imagine everyone in an advanced anatomy class doing their cadaver labs at home while watching their prof online?
Congratulations Tucker Carlson, you are a moron.
69) Maybe I'm just not paying enough attention, but it's nice that this whole COVID-19 thing hasn't brought out the weird "2nd coming/apocalypse" nuts. I'm pretty thankful for the fact that this whole thing hasn't turned into a religious rant-fest.
Also, related: Sorry, but prayer isn't a viable method of protecting yourself against COVID-19. Follow the advice of actual medical scientists. You can find their advice at the websites I posted in my "Coronavirus/COVID-19" entry..
70) Every time I start believing that people are becoming collectively more mature, I find evidence to the contrary. I went up to school to print some pages (I don't own a printer), and on the chalkboard in the room someone drew a phallus. Like, you're in your 20's (at least), and you're still drawing weenurs on chalkboards? Grow the f__k up. The sad thing is that the person who drew that is probably going to be an educator or (less likely) a researcher in the very near future.
71) I should mention that I do have a ResearchGate profile. I have things listed as "Areas of Expertise" and such, but I consider those more "Areas of Interest". I wouldn't consider myself an actual expert in "logic/foundations of mathematics" or "symplectic geometry" by any means. But I would consider myself interested in those subjects. Just felt like clarifying that.
72)Wow. I've always been a fairly big Frank Ocean fan. I liked 90% of "Nostalgia, Ultra" and "Channel Orange" is an amazing album. I was kind of meh on "Blonde", honestly...but I thought it was good (just not my cup of tea). But the two new songs he released today (2 April, 2020)? Trash. Like unlistenably bad. So disappointing.... I was so excited when I saw he had new songs, too. Such a let down.
73) So it's apparent that Joe Biden is going to be the Dem nominee for presidential candidate. As much as I don't really like him, I hate the idea of 4 more years of Trump.. So, I'm going to list somethings I think Biden needs to do if he's going to win.
a) Choose Elizabeth Warren as his VP. Biden has pledged to choose a woman as his VP nominee, so I think it needs to be Warren. After Biden and TheBern, Warren was the candidate in the Dem primaries with the most pledged delegates. She's also got appeal with more Progressive Dems, and will be able to draw them to Biden's otherwise moderate platform.
b) Legalize marijuana on a Federal level. The post COVID-19 America is going to need new businesses and more government income. Legalize marijuana and then tax the s__t out of it on a Federal level. And then commute all sentences for marijuana offenses. From what I can tell, the prison system costs anywhere from about $80billion to $130billion per year to run, and the federal government (not including individual state governments) pays about 10% of that. So even on the low end, you figure that's a sizable chunk of the $8billion that the federal government is wasting on incarcerating people for something that's, at worst, a smoke-able/edible version of alcohol. So a "Federal legalization/Commutation" one-two punch both brings in more tax revenue and cuts out spending. Which is great for helping us get over the economic slump the Coronavirus has us in.
c)Pledge to work to create equity (and equality) for minority communities in America. And then follow through with it. People are fed up, and COVID-19 as really highlighted some fundamental racial inequalities that still exist in the US. And after pledging...he has to follow through, or he'll be a 1-term president. People are tired of empty promises and false pledges. People are fed up. Joe can't expect to win without the support of the African-American community (or other minority groups). Some sort of reparations package would be nice.
d)Come up with a solid post-COVID-19 plan. Part of that is in point (b) above. (as of 19 April: I'll definitely be adding to this part more at a later time).
e)Relating to the previous point, it's time to restructure health care. This is one of those things where I think having Warren as a VP would really benefit Biden, as she had a fairly decent (and mostly realistic) plan for health care restructuring. But "ObamaCare 2.0" isn't going to cut it. ObamaCare was a nice first step, but it was wrought with flaws. It was never a permanent solution to the problem of health care affordability.
f) Consider a UBI (universal basic income), at least on a temporary basis while the country recovers from the economic hit we've taken with COVID-19.
g)Keep his emotions in check. Joe's an emotional guy. He gets emotional and trips over himself a lot. He's an old dog, and he won't be learning a lot of new tricks, but this is one he needs to learn. Don't get caught up in angry back-and-forth's with Trump. Joe was at his worst in Dem primary debates when he tried to quip and snap back and forth with other candidates. He needs to just ignore Trump, and present his Biden Platform, and be a reassuring figure. Don't turn this into a reality show drama-fest, because Trump is a drama queen supreme; that's Trump's home turf.
I'll have/add more later.
74)It's so fucked up to me that we're here in 2020 and we've still got these stories about unarmed black men being shot for.... existing. In Georgia, we have Ahmaud Arbery being murdered by vigilantes who just assumed he was a thief and who assumed that the rightful punishment for thievery was a public execution. This story is fucking sickening to me, and the way the situation is being handled is fucking pathetic. The second story, relating to the murder of Sean Reed in Indiana, is just developing, and I don't know all of the facts. But I do know that he was unarmed and was only running. That's not a death penalty. From what I understand, they had his car (and thus license plate numbers and i.d.), so they (the Indianapolis police officers involved) could have found him one way or another without having to resort to killing an unarmed Air Force vet.
It just speaks to how biased our law enforcement system can be in this country, when people invading state capitol buildings with assault weapons (which is essentially terrorist activity with a splash of treason) are handled with kid gloves while unarmed black men are killed for existing.
UPDATE (8 May): I was glad to see that Ahmaud Arbery's murderers were arrested and charged. That's step one. Now we need that "guilty of murder" verdict. Because that's what this is: murder. It's not self-defense, It's nothing but pure, heartless murder. Anything less than a guilty verdict for the charge of murder is a joke.
75)It's so weird to watch The Thing In The Oval Office expend so much energy on convincing people he's a good president. Somewhere along the way, he must have misinterpreted the job description, because I'm pretty sure the job isn't 90% self-promotion. A good president doesn't need to convince you they're doing a good job. So the fact that Thing spends so much time pumping himself up should tell us all something.
76) Sometimes I LOL to myself when I see people imply that adopting a socialist system will somehow eradicate racism....as if racism is solely an economic phenomenon. Here's a harsh reality check: socialists can be racists, too. If America all of a sudden became a socialist government/economic entity, most racist people would still be racist. If history has taught us anything, it's that getting more money (or less money, for rich people) doesn't make hateful people any less hateful. I don't think capitalism is perfect by any means, but you can't blame racism on capitalism. You can only blame racism on racist people, be they socialist, capitalist, or otherwise.
77) I've read (admittedly very little) on the new National Security laws China is imposing on Hong Kong. From my understanding, we'll be halting a lot of U.S. operations in Hong Kong because of this.
First, I'm ideologically opposed to the (in my view) Totalitarian language of these laws. Obviously I haven't read the actual laws. But based off of the summaries I've read, simply disagreeing with the Chinese government can label you as a secessionist and lead to your arrest (for an indefinite amount of time, if I understand correctly).
Second...as much as I hate this law... we have our own problems at home. I find the National Security Law form Beijing to be tyrannical (and not just a little opportunistic in it's timing, during a global pandemic), definitely. But in a way I feel like... who are we to judge? We have audio and video of police, an extension of our government, at BLM protests talking about looking forward to a race war, or "busting (protesters') heads open". We don't necessarily have the moral high ground here, where we can judge China, since we have our own obvious problems (on top of having more than 20% of all COVID-19 deaths globally in our backyard). It's hard to tell another country they're treating some of their citizens unfairly when we're watching our own people getting treated unfairly (up to and including public execution) on a daily basis. We still think "tear down some statues and then ignore it" is a viable solution to systemic racism. We still think "give Black athletes and entertainers more awards, but keep things like STEM awards lily white" is synonymous with "recognizing Black Excellence". We still think "..but we had a Black president for 2 terms!" erases 400 years of slavery followed by another 157 years of things like segregation, racial profiling, unequal jail sentencing, etc.
We don't have the moral high ground here. Personally, as much as I hate to say it, I don't think we should be imposing sanctions on China over this for a while.. Should we withdraw vital intelligence operations and such? Sure. As much as necessary to ensure our national security. But should we start imposing trade sanctions and things like that (especially during a global pandemic)? Probably not. Like I said, I just don't feel like we have the moral high ground to make that kind of call right now, on top of everything else.
(PS: I'm not saying black athletes and entertainers don't deserve the accolades they receive. So many black artists/entertainers/athletes use their fame, and often their money, to support the community both publicly and privately. I said what I said above because it's about what they call "optics"..... the image projected. When you're a Black child, and you only see Black athletes and entertainers getting accolades...what are you supposed to think? You never see Black scientists winning Nobel Prizes in sciences. You rarely see black scientists being consulted on camera by news services. You occasionally see Black politicians on TV, but aside from Obama... mostly they're playing second fiddle to a white politician. While I'm an iconoclast to the n-th degree (and, by induction, the n+1 th degree, too), I recognize that having an idol/public figure to look up to can inspire kids to be more. We need more Black scientists, lawyers, bankers, etc. to of-set the whole "the only way you can make it is to be an athlete or entertainer" image that is presented to Blackchildren.
78) I saw Kanye West is running for president? An open letter to Kanye West, then...
Dear Kanye,
Shut the fuck up. Go do one of your idiotic Jesus-services so you can claim to be a religious organization so that you can get a tax break. Go put your MAGA hat on and then sit alone by your pool. Go pimp your mental illness on a talk show circuit or something. Go get more liposuction. But please...just STFU. Stop taking up peoples time with your narcissism. Stop distracting people from real issues and problems with your self-centred nonsense. You can't even make shirts with sleeves that have equal length. You can't run a country.
Sincerely Desiring to Open-Hand Slap You In the Grand Canyon So That I Can Savour the Echo,
Jonathan D. Evenboer
79) I'm preemptively doing this because I know August 6th is going to come around and I'm going to be in the final push of finishing this summer's gL(\star) paper or something... But anyway.... Shoutout to Jamaica and the 58th Anniversary of Jamaican independence! A strong people with a powerful culture! Jamaica has been through so much through out history, but Jamaicans always seem to pull together and get each other up and over each hill and mountain.
Cheers to not just 58 more years, but an eternity of independence!
UPDATE (24 July): Since I finished my paper earlier than expected.... I thought I'd add on to this. One thing I love about Jamaicans (and, really, West Indies people in general) is their ridiculous work ethic. I don't think I've ever met a Jamaican who had fewer than 2 jobs. And on top of 2 "real" jobs, they'll have like 3 side hustles. And when we hung out during down-time/days-off, we were always talking about real issues...deep stuff. It was never some like "Oh I'm tired, let's just talk about girls and material shit we can't afford and sports". Jamaicans are always on some deep isht. It's wild. I just have so much respect for the culture. The show In Living Colour used to do a sketch called "The Hedley's" about a West Indian family where every member of the family had like 20 jobs each. The sketches were funny and over the top, but there was always a bit of truth to the portrayal. The rest of the world likes to portray the stereotype that Jamaicans are either a) lazy people with dreads who sit around all day and smoke weed, or b) gangsters/gunman/murdera types. But in my experience, those stereotypes are almost non-existent in real life in the real culture. Anyway... yeah...I mean...I love Jamaican food and music and stuff like that, too. I mean, the other day I made the wild oxtails in a jerk sauce while listening to my playlist, which is like 70% dancehall. But for me I love the culture for more than just the stuff on the surface.
Also, shout out to Jamaica (and all of the Caribbean, really) for the way they've handled COVID-19. Jamaica has only had 10 deaths. Total. Like, since the pandemic began to now. That's 3 deaths per million people. I think they've had like 850+ cases total, and as of now, only like 120 cases are active. I'm pretty sure the numbers across almost all of the islands in West Indies are basically the same.. It's just really impressive. that they can do that when countries like the U.S. and Sweden and such, with their super-advanced (and sometimes even free!) health care systems, can't even sniff those numbers.
ALSO: Shout out to Buju Banton for winning the Jamaica Festival Song Competition. From what I hear, he donated the entirety of the J$3million dollar prize money to his charity, the Sunbeam Boys' Home., which is amazing. To put ALL of the check back to Jamaica in the service of bettering other's lives? That deserves a standing ovation.
80) In general, I've really enjoyed using Zoom for things like classes and seminars/talks. Especially with seminars/talks, I think it's a neat way to get to see talks with info you wouldn't normally get a chance to see, and converse with people you probably would never meet otherwise. I've been pretty lucky to speak with some cool people both in classes and in conferences/talks..
BUT....
I think I've found the one downfall of the format. A few weeks ago, I attended the OSU Math Departmental Awards Presentation, which was done via Zoom. I timed making my dinner all wrong, and was running between my kitchen and living room for the first 15 minutes or so. That would have never happened if I had been in a conference hall, for obvious reasons. I also couldn't help but feel guilty about eating during the presentation. I didn't have my video or audio on, so I guess it wasn't rude or anything...but I still felt kind of guilty.
Anyway, that's the one downfall of the Zoom format: unlimited access to your kitchen during a conference/talk or class.
81) Today (15 July, 2020) I was writing an email in a conversation with a mathematician and while I was writing it really hit me how crazy it was that...I was having a serious conversation with a professional mathematician (who's currently a fellow at the Institute of Advanaced Study, no less!) Like, someone at that level would take even a minute to talk to little ol' me...that's so wild to me.. I don't hide the fact that I graduated high school with a 1.9 GPA, and that I failed high school geometry. But...somehow I ended up here... I have A's and B's in all of my 400-level geometry and topology classes at a major research university in a respectable math department. I have non-zero scores on both the Putnam Exam and the Virginia Tech Regional Math Competition. I've given talks and written papers (to varying degrees of success...to me it's more that I even had the guts to try, all things considered). I've gone to see differential geometry talks as far south as Stanford and as far north as University of Washington (Seattle), and quite a few places in between. I regularly attend Zoom conferences on Symplectic Geometry and Topology. I don't know...I'm just rambling. It just sort of hit me today...how crazy it is that I'm even a student of anything at all at any major university, much less a student of mathematics at a major university.
82) I've decided I'm either full scale dyslexic or just naturally predisposed to all things Jamaican. I was at a local Latino market looking for some ackee (I remembered Latino markets in NYC always had canned ackee), and I saw a bag of dried something or other next to dried chilies. I swore the label said "Jamaica", and I was like ..."Jamaica...next to chilies...ok, this must be dried scotch bonnet!". I don't have words for how excited I was. I'm sick of substituting habanero for scotch bonnet. I was willing to go the dried route if it meant using real scotch bonnet. Anyway, I took the bag up to the counter and asked the lady working if it was scotch bonnet********, and she says "It's jicama". I swore it said Jamaica. Like, I read the label 3 times, and I really thought it said Jamaica. I was well rested, dead sober, and feeling pretty good all around. But I SWORE the label said Jamaica. And there was no canned ackee.
The point of this story? I'll be making beef patties instead of saltfish and ackee for Aug. 6th.
83) Math musing:
I was starting to study up on some dead-basic algebraic geometry today (like, literally page 1 of Hartshorne's book) and some guy came up and asked me what I was studying. So I said "Algebraic Geometry". And we went into this whole conversation that I won't get in to (he was asking some metaphysical questions that...I wasn't equipped to deal with). But basically, I realized we were talking about 2 different types of algebras when I was about to start talking about groups and rings.. It's funny how, when I first took the Abstract Algebra course here at OSU, I was slightly shocked by just how different Abstract Algebra is from the idea of Algebra we're presented in high school or 100-level college math classes. Even linear algebra classes don't really shatter your idea of what algebra is, because you're still actively using algebraic operations on functions you'd see in a 100-level course. I guess in a sense things like set operations and group operations in Abstract Algebra employ familiar algebraic operations, but (IMO) there's really nothing in 100-level algebra, or linear algebra really, that prepares you for the big leap to Abstract Algebra.
Anyway... I started thinking about how confusing math language is to outsiders (and I include my pre-university self in that category). It's confusing when someone says "We're going to call this algebra. But this is algebra, too!". I was giving the guy a mini-lecture on modularity (using the tried-and-true clock example), and as soon as I said the word "congruent" I knew that he was going to hit back to basic geometry. Which totally makes sense, but it was the wrong context. And that's kind of the point of this musing: context. I think, on reflection, the one thing the variety of undergrad math courses I've taken has shown me is that context is EVERYTHING in math, from upper division undergrad math and beyond. And, as a student, I found it really weird to consider how quickly you begin to adapt to using the same symbol in different contexts. I don't think twice when I see pi as a number or pi with a subscript integer as a notation for a fundamental group (for example) because "context is everything in math" has been beaten in to my brain so much that it's become 2nd nature to just...adapt. But it takes a lot of work to get there. And to people not immersed in the world of mathematics...it can get REALLY confusing REALLY quick.
(On a related note, I've noticed Five Percenters with very rudimentary traditional math schooling tend to pick up on the Abstract Algebraic notion of modular arithmetic really quick because the concept of "cipher" in Supreme Mathematics. Cipher is literally just mod10. Even the basic definition of cipher in almost any lesson is "cipher brings you back to the beginning". There's other meanings attached to cipher (e.g.; person, place or thing), but the basic idea of cipher is coming back to the beginning.)
84) Despite all of this COVID-19 stuff...lock-downs, isolation, etc.... and everything else going on, nothing about me has changed. Like, I'm still an atheist, I still prefer being alone to the idea of being around all (or any) of the fake people I used to know in Kalamazoo (the people I share a name with included), and I still hate my weirdo furry stalker who thought it was ok to just grab me and force kisses on me even though I never expressed interest in her AT ALL (hopefully, after all this time, she's an ex-stalker... anyone who thinks there's still a chance after 10+ years of absolutely no contact AFTER 10 years of absolute minimal social contact [about 20 minutes of social contact in the previous 10 year time frame] has...serious mental issues). In fact, I'd rather spend the rest of my life in complete isolation than ever see any of those people ever again.
It's weird, but I've really been thriving despite the isolation. Even before COVID-19, I was fairly isolated. Like, I'll talk to acquaintances at the gym and stuff, but by and large I'm completely isolated. But...I'm probably the happiest I've ever been.
85) I think I might kind of hate Beyonce..... she's just so melodramatic and over the top and over-calculating, yet somehow.....empty. It's like...why put that much effort into saying nothing? Like I get that she's not an academic or anything....but most artists aren't. Yet I can find hundreds of artists from the African diaspora who put out videos and songs that actually have substance AND offer strong opinions. Like, why listen to Beyonce when I can listen to Jah9 or Queen Ifrica or Sa-Rock or...damn...the list is ridiculous. Like, even Rihanna's "American Oxygen" is more poignant than 100% of Beyonce's catalogue, and Rihanna is by-and-large pretty neutral with her music (which I don't have a problem with...she saves her social justice stances for outside of the recording studio, and I respect that) Especially with Beyonce's Black Pride stuff...it's just fluff. It's like "Black Pride 101 for People Who've Never Met Black People Before". I know we're not supposed to speak poorly of Beyonce, but I really give a fuck.
Also: Beyonce strikes me as one of those people who says the word "joy" like they're about to cry. She also strikes me as the type of person who can't just talk about what's bothering her, she has to do a whole-ass rehearsed 45 minute long interpretive dance (probably with a costume change or two) about her feelings. Basically she strikes me as the type of person who annoys the living eff out of me. She strikes me as someone I could talk with for about 2 minutes over a cup of coffee before I got exasperated, stood up, said "The bill's on you", and left.
86) I think the whole idea that the US president has to be an American-born citizen is kind of hilarious when you consider that the first 7 presidents (from George Washington to Andrew Jackson) were all born before America won independence....technically making them being born as British citizens. Actually, the ninth president (William Henry Harrison) was also born before American independence. So 8 of 45 presidents (which is to say, 17.777777777....% of all presidents) were foreign born. I can see having a rule like "must have been a citizen for 20 years" or something.... but it's kind of weird that we have that rule when almost 1 out of every 5 presidents was born a foreign citizen. (PS-I realize you can't be born a citizen of a country that doesn't yet exist. I just think it's funny that 8 of our first 10 presidents were technically Brits.)
87) Speaking of Britain and former colonies of Britain..... I was pleased to see that Barbados is deciding to remove the queen of England as their official head of state. The move seems to indicate that Barbados is planning on leaving the neo-colonial entity referred to as the Commonwealth. I think dissolution of the Commonwealth is long overdue, especially for the Caribbean and African member states, who seem to receive absolutely none of the wealth that's supposed to be common amongst the member nations. It would be nice to see the Caribbean states choose to become republics, and come together and create a Caribbean Union (much like the African Union or the European Union). Anyway, shout out to Barbados. I'm wondering who will follow suit (Jamaica? Dominica? Bahamas? etc?).
PS: I know there is a sort of Caribbean Union already... I guess I just hope it becomes stronger & less influenced by non-Caribbean countries. I feel the same way about the African Union.
(To be clear...I'm not anti-British by any means. I'm just not a fan of what I view as neo-colonialism in any form. I have the same problems/concerns/complaints with other countries neo-colonial practices. One could just as easily replace "British" with "American", "French", "German", "Chinese" etc. in other cases. Just wanted to be clear on that)
89) (I intentionally skipped the number between 87 and 89)
In personal news, I broke my old flip phone when I dropped a 40 pound dumbbell on it. So I bought another flip phone. I'm apparently taking a hardline stance against the Magic Rectangle Majority Someone has to keep the flame of the flipphone-ites lit, and I suppose I stepped up to be the torch bearer. It was only like $20 extra to get a Magic Rectangle (thanks to a math professor, whom I met at Stanford during the Bay Area Differential Geometry Seminar in February 2015, and whose name I forget, for that term). But I stood my ground and said "No! If I can't flip it open and spend 10 minutes typing out a two word text message, I don't want it!". We will not be moved.
90) I just came across this (https://www.facebook.com/KzooMwC/posts/10154708503529130) and wanted to state publicly that I did NOT give the ok for my name to be used there. I was never, at ANY point, asked if I wanted my name to be used, and I did NOT give permission for my name to be used. I have no affiliation with that group, nor the other names on that dry erase board. I dislike, intensely, people using my identity without my permission.
91) I hate the way I have weird accent slips. I was raised with a LOT of different accents (NYC/NJ, Dutch, Croatian, Midwestern, AAVE, Latin-American) influencing the way I talk, and I'm kind of an accent sponge. I remember in high school, I had just came back from visiting NJ and I was talking to a friend, and she said "I love when yo come back from New Jersey, because you have an accent". Example: when I get excited and start talking fast, my th's become t's and d's (as in "dat ting" for "that thing"), kind of like the Dutch do when they speak English. Sometimes the different accents mix, and what comes out sounds .like.... something, but not one of actual languages influencing the accent. It's kind of annoying, because a lot of times people think I'm joking or being a jerk when I'm just trying to talk.
92) Lol at the fact that I've been on tv in Jamaica twice (youtu.be/9ab07nYlgto?t=9948) because I've occasionally been showing up to the RETV Fame Frequency Zoom quarantine parties. The link above is for the most recent time I was on. So that makes it 2 times on Jamaican tv, 0 times on American tv. I think that fact is both dope af and hilarious.
Also: shout out to everyone in the Zoom Crew, the youtube chat crew and all the Fame Frequency team (the hosts, selectas, dancers...everyone) for making Saturday nights a likkle more fun during this whole COVID thing. It always puts a smile on my face to be up in there with the whole crew. Big up yuhselves!
93)Sort of related to the previous, I was thinking about how I've previously said I don't really listen to new music any more. I think the pandemic got me back in to listening to new stuff. I started making a Caribbean-centric playlist, and started listening to a lot of the new artists coming out (e.g.; Skillibeng, Chronic Law, Koffee) as well as new songs by all my old favourites (e.g.; Sizzla, Beenie Man, Bounty Killer, Busy Signal). Anyway, making that playlist reminded me that I like listening to new music (actually, it's just exclusively new dancehall, soca, reggae, and hip hop...& some of this "afrobeats" stuff, which is amazing, ps. I don't listen to rock or pop at all any more. I don't really like K-Pop much either. It reminds me of Backstreet Boys and all that boy band stuff too much.), and I like experiencing new art in general. I like some of the old stuff, but...I like to see things move on. Like, I saw the Mona Lisa in person once. I was like "Ok...that's what it looks like in person". It was just kind of....cold. But when I see something that's new and exciting (like a cool instillation piece) I get a real...visceral response. I think I just like seeing things evolve. Like, I love "Many Moods of Moses" by Beenie Man. One of my favourite albums. But honestly? I might listen to one or two songs off that album on a regular basis these days. I'd rather listen to Beenie and Demarco perform "Dweetdweetdweet" these days. It's a totally different sound from the old dancehall. I like the evolution of the sound. I'd get too bored if I restricted myself to stuff that came out 10 or 20 years ago. I kind of feel the same way about math, too, if I'm being honest. I like attending seminars where new material is being presented. I might now understand 80% of what's being said, but it's exciting to learn new stuff and it inspires me to keep up with the basics so that I can be working on the frontiers of math some day, too. I guess in that way, the math thing differs from the art thing. Art is just sensory enjoyment, where-as math is something I actually like to do/make myself.
Also: Random tangential thought...I think it's unfortunate that we associate the word "creativity" almost exclusively with the arts. When you really get into math in general, you really learn the depths of the creativity that went in to developing mathematics, and the creativity that goes in to expanding our mathematical knowledge. You can say the same for pretty much any scientific field. I just feel like we don't appreciate the level of creative thought that goes in to working in STEM.
94) Shoutout to San Francisco for passing the CAREN Act. Stop putting PoC in danger, and stop wasting police officers' time with your petty racism. Hopefully similar acts/measures/laws get passed nationwide sooner than later.
95) Math emotions musing: A lot of times I get really shy talking about math (or really anything) with other mathematicians. I usually clam up, or (even worse) I just ramble in that nervous kind of way. In emails, I definitely try to write in that stereotypical "academic/professional proper" style for fear of coming off as dumb. Since I started as a math major, it's always been kind of a problem. Obviously part of that comes from being older than basically all of my classmates. I do occasionally get self-conscious about my age. I mean, when I was 18, 19, 20 and such....I wasn't like "Wow, I really want this guy who's like twice my age hanging around" either. I get that part. I guess I always forget that the academic aspect of university isn't mutually exclusive from the social aspect So even if the conversation is strictly academic, the social aspect is still there. (And then there's the...ahhh.. cultural differences.)
Sometimes, especially at virtual conferences, I'll work up the nerve to ask a question. I've done that a few times at the virtual symplectic seminar I attend, and I asked a few questions at the 2020 Junior Global Poisson Workshop. Even then, I tend to email the professor, because I feel less nervous, even though the questions I usually ask are pretty basic. Like at the Junior Global Poisson Workshop, Prof Ryvkin had a result regarding co-moments on spheres of dimension 2n (so symplectic), but nothing for odd dimension. So I asked if this meant there were no co-moments on contact spheres. I was going to follow up with "if no, is there an analogous notion for contact geometry", but he basically answered my question in his initial response. It was sort of a basic question...almost infantile given the context of the event... but it was a good way to test my basic, if not infantile, intuitive knowledge of things I'd been reading. And it got me out of my math shell.
I also prefer email because I'm less likely to trip over my words. For example, I was talking to a Professor on at a virtual social event, and I said "Tellemucher space" when I obviously meant "Teichmuller space". They probably knew it was just me tripping over my words, but still... it's pretty embarrassing. (Yeah, I'm like 99% sure I'm at least mildly dyslexic.)
I don't know....I'm rambling. (See?)
Sometimes I do clam up because I just shouldn't be talking. Sometimes it's wise to just listen and learn from people. But, I guess what all of the above is saying is...I do get the wild social anxiety in math conversations. I think everyone (at every level) does to one extent or another. I'd imagine, at the very least, every mathematician has that anxiety of wanting to both communicate effectively and to impress their peers or people who are at a higher level than them. But I do feel like it's sort of doubled by being sort of an outsider (by way of age/competency ratio and by way of life story, both in general and with regards to my mathematical journey). I don't know if other "outsiders" feel the same way (I imagine they do), but...yeah...that was my ramble. I might add more later, but there's stuff to do now.
I should say, pretty much everyone I've met at seminars and in my more recent courses have been pretty cool. My anxieties are just MY anxieties. They're not really caused by anything anyone is doing or saying.
96) I've been writing quite a bit lately (as of 24 Oct, 2020) about protecting my identity and such.... This is mostly due to the fact that someone (and I think I know who, but I don't have proof) has been using my name and trying to reactivate me long-deactivated social media accounts. I've been getting emails about people trying ot reactivate my old Facebook page (which has been deactivated for like 9 years), and I got an email implying someone was trying to use my email/name to use something called "stripchat". I'm never going to reactivate my Facebook, and I reported the false reactivation request. I also have no interest in watching people strip in a chat. I've never gone to a strip club or anything like that, and I have no intention of trying to watch online strippers. It's not my cup of tea. At all. It just doesn't appeal to me, and I personally think it's kind of gross (although I don't judge sex workers). Anyway, that's why I've been bringing the subject up a lot recently. It just bugs me when people try to use my name without my consent. Seriously, just use some burner email to watch your strippers. You don't need to use my email address. I'm not going to hit "accept" for you when I get the email.
97) I was in a virtual hangout with some math peoples, and someone brought up the movie Good Will Hunting (I think it was because the virtual chalk board had the same graph isomorphism question from the movie). It occurred to me that, given my past/history and that I chose math, people might wonder why I don't list it as a "favourite movie" in my "favourite things" post . Well...the thing is...I kind of fucking hate Good Will Hunting. It's a well made, well acted film. And that's about it. I hate the "I had a psychological breakthrough, now I'm cured!" myth that the film portrays. PTSD doesn't just go away after a few months of therapy and a good cry. It's there forever. It's more about how you manage it. I dunno...I know it's a movie, but that always bothered me. I also hate the fact that he just ditched an awesome dream job for... someone he kind of dated for a few weeks? I mean...really? Again, I know it's a movie, and there's the dramatic, crowd-pleasing element that has to be played to... but did he really have to just be like "F#&^ THE JOB!!"? Couldn't he have just asked for a delayed start date so he could get some things situated? I hated the ending.
I also kind of hate the portrayal of mathematicians. The Stellan Skarsgard character was so over the top. I've met tons of mathematicians (from all over the world, even), and I find mathematicians to be largely nice, humble people. Yes, they use big words and deal with complex (or real..lol) subjects, and are very rational (I'll stop), But it's really rare to meet a mathematician as pompous and arrogant as the one played by Stellan Skarsgard. Mathematicians are people, and yes...like other groups you'll always find jerks. But by and large, they are nothing like the math characters in Good Will Hunting.
Anyway... yeah..if you're wondering if I like Good Will Hunting or not...No, I do NOT like that movie.
98) I hope the Jamaican fam (and Caribbean fam in general) is safe, what with all of the wild storms that have been kicking up out there. I've been following the news as much as I can (I watch a lot of news via PBC of Jamaica on Youtube), and I've seen how intense the flooding has been. Hurricane Season is always tough for the Hurricane Belt islands, but with the added difficulties of COVID lockdowns and such... I just hope everyone is safe.
99) Normally I do a horror-movie-a-night marathon for October, but I was too busy for that this year. I did get a few in, though. The list, by watch order….
1 Oct.: Evil Dead (2013)
The ultra-gory reboot/sequel to the original Sam Rami trilogy. I have a soft spot for the Evil Dead series (I even liked the short-lived TV show from the mid-2010’s). Anyway, not recommended for the squeamish.
5 Oct.: A l’Intérieur (aka Inside) (2007)
Ultra-gory French horror film. There’s a remake, but I have no interest in seeing it. The 2007 original is set against the back drop of the anti-Muslim/Arab sentiment that permeated that era of super-conservative government in France. I think this is a case where the cultural context can’t be taken away from the movie without ruining the movie. Again, not recommended for the squeamish.
8 Oct : Bride of Chucky (1998)
I needed a break from the grimdark gore of the 1st two films on the list, so I switched up to the Chucky series. This is the film where Don Mancini decided to go full-on campy horror/comedy.
9 Oct. : Seed of Chucky (2004)
The sequel to the above. This one is even more over the top than the Bride of Chucky. The John Water’s cameo is *chef’s kiss*.
10 Oct. : I Didn’t Come Here To Die (2010)
A weird little ultra-low-budget horror/comedy. Every few years, I remember I own this and I re-watch it. I personally think it’s funny and charming in an off-beat way. All old school, practical effects.
31 Oct.: Candyman (1992)
I decided to end the month with a legit good horror film. I personally think Candyman is a classic. I also feel like it’s not terribly gory (and the effects are definitely dated, so they come off as more cheesy than queasy). Anyway, the story itself is actually good. I never watched the sequels, but I still love the original. I might check out the new one, though.
I also watched a couple of Jamaican horror-comedy shorts, but I can’t remember the dates I watched them. They were both pretty funny. For being super low budget, they were both pretty good. I thought “Rolling Calf” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDqH_8rYixk&list=LL&index=4&t=28s&ab_channel=LensAmbition) had a hilarious twist ending. With an actual budget, it probably could have been a really fun feature length movie. Also, if you understand Patwa/Patois at all, you’ll have tons of fun with the subtitles. It’s definitely got to be them messing with people who can’t understand Patwa (or the Jamaican accent period, considering the Patwa itself is pretty low-key) at all. I actually think the Rolling Calf myth would make a good horror character in a high budget movie. I’m not sure how Hollywood hasn’t exploited that one yet.
The other short I watched was “H.I.Z.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xH_y4ffVSg&list=LL&index=2&t=318s&ab_channel=Vybzkeem) which was a Walking Dead spoof. I’ve never actually watched Walking Dead, but this was funny even without the context. Definitely more comedy than horror. The humour can be kind of a juvenile in a Kevin Smith (“Clerks”, “Mallrats”, “Jay & Silent Bob”, etc.) kind of way, but sometimes that’s fun. Never under-estimate the power of broad humour done right. I also think it's cool they made a horror-comedy, but actually got a good safe-sex message in there (H.I.Z. .... H.I.V. ....the 1st scene revolving around unprotected sex... get it?).
100) Some pop-culture hot-takes:
a) Drake is the Justin Beiber of rap.
b)All 80's/90's synth-pop (think DuranDuran/Depeche Mode/etc) sounds racist.
c)Mary J Blige is 1000 times better than Beyonce, and the only reason MJB isn't the more popular artist is because she's too authentic for mainstream America.
d)Every Youtube user who makes a "slowed and reverb" version of my favourite songs needs to have their account removed. Stop making these videos.
101) I'm still shocked that my math papers have been read as often as they have been. Altogether, they have over a thousand views (the most-viewed paper has over 300 views). I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but it's just kind of wild that people do, in fact, read them. And I haven't seen any show up in r/badmathematics yet, so that's a positive.... Anyway, I just think it's...humbling guess is the word....to know random people actually read the papers. It's just wild to me.
102) Shout out to Congress for passing the MORE Act, which (as I understand it) removes marijuana from the Federal list of illegal narcotics. I'm 99% positive this means marijuana is no longer a Schedule 1 drug, on the Federal level. This is the first step to getting a little Federal tax money out of marijuana, which would be a cash cow for all levels of government. It also ends the funding of the (stupid and ineffective) marijuana arm of the Drug War, which will save taxpayers TONS of money, and will save law enforcement a bunch of wasted time ("wasted" pun not intended). It's good to see a sensible law like this pass. Legality of both recreational and medical marijuana on the Federal level has seemed to work pretty good for Canada.
103) Bruh..... writing Statements of Purpose and Personal Statements for grad school apps is so exhausting. Not in a bad way. But it's exhausting. I've been trying to be very programme-specific (listing prof's with similar interests I would want to be mentored/advised by, classes I'd want to take) while explaining my....spotty educational history (which involves discussing my history of being abused by the family I grew up in, the subsequent alcoholism, etc.). I've slept like 10 hours the last couple of nights. I've started 12 applications and I'm pretty much done with all of them. But damn....EXHAUSTING!
104) I don't celebrate holidays, but X-mas is basically a forced day off. So this year I spent time perfecting my "lamb necks in orange sauce". I use the Chinese-American orange sauce and, wait for it, cover lamb necks with the sauce.. I used to cook the lamb and then would add orange sauce towards the end of the lamb cooking in the oven. This time, I cooked the lamb all of the way and put the orange sauce on the stove over med-low heat and added some gumbo file to thicken it. I added some crushed red pepper for a little spicy kick, and THEN added the lamb to the sauce pan to coat the neck portions. This was so much better than previous attempts. The sauce was stickier, and the lamb was nicely covered. Previous attempts left the sauce kind of runny, which was annoying. I love the dish, but orange sauce is basically liquid candy (high added sugar content), so I have to watch my intake. Anyway, it's a good meal. I've tried it with other cuts of lamb, but the necks (with bone in) seem to compliment the sauce best. I usually use leg of lamb in my lamb saag.
105) Today (26 Jan, 2021) it snowed in Corvallis. I hadn't had to deal with snow in quite some time, and this was a reminder to me of just how much I f***king HATE snow.. It's weird, but it just kind of triggers a lot of bad memories. Pretty much all of my trauma (e.g.; multiple forms of abuse at the hands of family, sexual assault by the weirdo musical furry Christian girl who stalked me for 10 f***king years) happened in Michigan/the Midwest, and snow just reminds me of that part of the country and the sh**ty, horrible life I had there. I just hate snow. If I never have to see snow again, I will be over-f***king-joyed.
106) Congratulations to both the OSU mens and womens basketball teams for getting to their respective gender-based NCAA tournaments in 2021. The women's team is pretty consistent in getting there year after year, but having both teams get in is a pretty big deal. Good luck to both teams!
*It's weird how "satire" is always the go to sub-categorization for "comedic material" about rape, racism, and basically all hate-based subjects. Want to make a callous movie where some people go around raping women with no real consequences? Throw in a couple of one-liners and call it "satire". Want to make a "comedy" show where a white person wearing black face is no big deal? Tell everyone it's "satire" and collect that check! Etc.
I pretty much avoid everything and anything that markets itself as satire these days. If it's a good satire, I'll pick up on it without the artist(s) needing to tell me (over and over, interview after interview) that it's satire. If it's something like Jimmy Kimmel's former wild sexist/rape-culturist "The Man Show", that needed to constantly be (aggressively) justified as "satire"...my "satire-as-mask-to-hide-behind" alarm goes off like crazy.
**I also almost never agree with Republicans on social issues (e.g.; women's rights, race relations, "church and state" issues, abortion, pro-LGBTQ+ freedom). Really, the only time I find myself agreeing with Republicans is on some economic issues. I make no bones about the fact that i'm a capitalist (I just think it's the only system flexible enough to allow for "pocket economies": (which is to say states or regions choosing socialist, capitalist, or "in between" systems) to coexist. Capitalism allows for more choice, in my opinion. When you start saying "our way will save everyone", you're toeing the line that divides politics from religion (again, in my opinion). IMO, capitalism (done right) says "my way works for me, your way works for you, and we can find some blanket methods we can all agree on to support our mutual basic needs" I'm also guessing my pro-reparations stance doesn't overlap with a general Republican platform. Or the Democrats', tbh)
***I give a pass to people who do this kind of thing when they hire year-round residents to run their places...well, year round..
****FOR EXAMPLE: I realized yesterday (8/22/19) that I eff'd up in an older post (I think it was the one where I took a fairly hardline stance against $15/hr minimum wage). I said or implied something along the lines of Europe owning the most debt incurred from all other continents, of any other continent.. That's completely and utterly false. Europe is either tied for that spot with, or ranked directly below, Asia. I always forget Asia includes the Middle East and India. I just kind of consider that area it's own continent. I also tend to think of Canada, Mexico and the U.S. as one big country, which is probably weird (especially since 2016). I also thought Japan owed WAAAYYYY more debt than it owned. In terms of international debt, Japan is apparently a full on creditor power. So shout out to Japan. I knew China was
(debt owned)-(debt owed)>0,
but the numbers for Japan shocked me.
OTHER EXAMPLES: -I've definitely called myself out on this blog for supporting some 5%ers who ended up doing and/or saying some truly ignorant isht. (note: I still love my 5%ers, but like any group, there's always a few rotten apples in the bunch).
-I've often called myself out for my mistakes in relationships (to be honest, though,I did that more on twitter when I had a profile on there). Usually, it was just calling out the general chauvinistic crap cis-het guys do (e.g.; expecting the female to clean the house even though you both work the same amount of hours, expecting the female to always be "on" when you're...errr...ready to go). I've called myself out for doing shit like being drunk and getting rejected for one kiss and being like "maybe if I try a second time...". I mean, I've never forced myself on any one, but the afore mentioned incident is still an instance of not accepting a fairly explicit "no-means-no", and it was trash behaviour on my part (sorry, S!). There's no excuse. There's no "well, I was drunk" or "I mean, I never actually kissed her, I just tried" or "guys are supposed to be aggressive" bullshit or any excuse like that. It was just me being toxic (and, to a lesser extent, being an alcoholic..... it's amazing just how much I changed for the better as a person by quitting drinking).
-There's other examples, from calling myself out for mistakes on papers to calling myself out for more heinous, real-life mistakes to calling myself out for associating with people who make ignorant statements and don't check themselves on it. It's not hard to call yourself out if you're willing to honestly swallow your pride and say "Damn, I fucked up. I need to acknowledge this.". When I call out someone on here, it's ONLY because I'm willing to do that to myself. It's not about a power trip or sense of superiority, it's about who I am as a person and what I believe is a right course of action for myself and others when one makes an egregious mistake.
***** Keep in mind that just because someone forgives you, it doesn't mean that you get what you want from that person. All it means is that they forgive you. Being forgiven just means that the person forgives you for your transgression. As an example, say I were to say "I forgive you" to the creepy girl who basically stalked me for 10 years. It doesn't mean she gets the relationship she wanted with me, it just means that I forgave her (in all honesty, that's a scenario where I'd say "I forgive you, now please leave me alone forever and never come near me or talk to me again."). If she were to think that my forgiveness in any way implied she can just go back to basically stalking me and grabbing me whenever she felt like it, it kind of invalidates the forgiveness. It also implies that her apology was only made for the sake of getting what she wanted, not for the sake of true repentance or contrition. Honestly, finding out she got married was one of the happiest days of my life, because I knew I'd never have to worry about her creepy ass again. She's one of those people who I'd be perfectly happy to never ever see again for the rest of my life.. I can honestly say that the last time I saw her (about 9 years ago, now), I literally felt physically sick to my stomach having to hear her voice and see her face. I used to be nice to her because I thought she was...ummm... I don't know the politically correct way to say this...but... "mentally disabled", I guess is the right word/phrase (she was/is the type of person who randomly walked around in an animal costume...as an adult...just..because? Not my thing. At all.)? Anyway, anyone who thinks that you being nice to them means that you owe them sex or a relationship has serious problems and deserves your scorn, if not your outright disdain. It's no different that the "I bought you dinner, now you owe me sex" mentality (which obviously deserves scorn). (update, 13 Oct: Actually, upon further consideration.... I don't think I could forgive my stalker. At all. Some people, like her, or the people who raised me....or the majority of my supposed relatives for that matter..., make me so fucking sick to my stomach because of the things they did to me that I just can't find it in myself to ever forgive them. I would do everything in my power to ensure that I never had to see any of those people again. Some people just don't deserve forgiveness. At all. I would gladly spend the rest of my life completely alone if it meant I never had to see the people who raised me, and their families, or my stalker ever again. )
I, myself, have personally apologized to ex-girlfriends for my past scumbaggery knowing full well there's no chance of us getting back together.. When I apologize to someone, it's just to admit to them that I was wrong. I fucked up. An apology is just that...an admission of guilt, with the hope (but not the guarantee) that the person(s) you're apologizing to will forgive you for your transgression. Nothing more. Forgiveness isn't an invitation to do the same things you were doing wrong before. Forgiveness isn't a time machine that erases wrongs. You receive forgiveness and you move on. You receive forgiveness SO you can move on. That's it..
When you make an apology you aren't guaranteed forgiveness, as I said above, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't make the apology. For instance, if I knew how to get in contact with a woman whom I was engaged to (and loved very much) in the mid-'00's, I would definitely apologize to her (again, in a less defensive way) knowing full well she'd probably just spit in my face. I won't get into the nitty-gritty (that's between myself and her and involves WAY to much backstory, going back to the first time we met), but basically I was just a fuck-up and in a moment of confusion I did something I think she took the wrong way. From her vantage, I could she why she thought what I did was wrong. And if I were to apologize, I would know it wouldn't be anything more than an apology. I doubt she'd accept it then and there, and if she ever forgave me, it probably wouldn't be to my face. But I would (and honestly, I DID at one point) make the apology anyway because it's the right thing to do.
******Not every white person who has a rusty truck or is a gamer with a certain haircut is a racist. In fact, the majority probably AREN'T racist. I was mostly trying to show how stereotypes work. There's obviously people who "fit the bill", but I think that's mostly a vocal/visible minority.
******* I firmly believe that, more and more, "people who defy categorization" is going to be the new normal. I really hope labels of all types become a thing of the past some day.
******** My actual words in the moment were "Ayo, this scotch bonnet?". I'm unsure if that's more or less embarrassing than thinking "jimica" was "Jamaica".